Last Updated on April 13, 2023 by Mike Robinson

Aggressive communication defines a way of communicating that usually involves manipulation and the use of language for personal gain. In fact, it is a form of expression of violence, which is manifested through both the verbal and para-verbal language of the person.

Adopting this type of communication usually produces a unidirectional information exchange. That is, the subject who communicates aggressively simply pays attention to his own expressions, rendering irrelevant the feedback provided by the interlocutor.

When various communicative process participants engage in aggressive communication, the information exchange frequently centers on personal criticisms and preconceived notions.

So, aggressive communication usually doesn’t achieve the goals of communication processes because it doesn’t involve a two-way exchange. This kind of communication is usually used to show authority, make a demand, or be better than the other person.

One of the three main types of communication is aggressive communication. The other two are passive communication and assertive communication.

In this way of talking to each other, the one-way nature of the exchange between people is made clear. Because of this, the goal of aggressive communicators is not to get useful feedback from the people involved. In fact, aggressive communication has the opposite effect of what was intended.

This mode of communication is used to send clearly defined messages to the receiver without getting a reply or objection about the expression.

When aggressive communication is used, it doesn’t matter what the other person thinks, feels, or thinks about. The sender only thinks about his message, which he tries to get across with as much power and force as possible.

Aggressive Communication Overview

To talk about aggressive communication, you have to keep a few basic rules in mind. So, this kind of communication isn’t just about using offensive words, a high pitch, screams, or other force samples.

In fact, aggressive communication can happen even when there isn’t a lot of anger or a strong vocabulary, even though these things frequently occur. The three basic rules of aggressive communication are not listening, not having empathy, and only having your own goals in mind.

1: Ignores the other person’s response.

One of the hallmarks of aggressive communication is a failure to listen to the other person. What this means is that the people who use this method of communication are not interested in what their counterparts have to say. When someone is not listening during aggressive communication, they are paying attention to or comprehending what the other person is saying or communicating.

The sender is unable to understand any message the other person may be sending. Instead, they are restricted to transmitting and projecting their own messages, which are typically delivered with great force and intensity.

Because the aggressive communicator’s talk does not at any time take into account the information emitted by the others, the communication is based solely on the intentions and ideas of only one of the participants.

2: Concerned only for personal needs

It is not by accident that aggressive communication lacks listening as one of its components. Not listening responds to the goals that the communicator is attempting to achieve through the exchange.

Since only personal goals are considered in aggressive communication, the communicator’s only goal is to be able to send the messages they want to transmit. Aggressive communication, in contrast to other communication processes, does not aim to establish agreements or exchange information with others.

3: Lack of empathy

Last but not least, aggressive communication suggests the speaker has no empathy at all. Not only does the person using this method of communication not pay attention to what the other person is saying, but he also shows no concern for the potential outcomes of his words.

In reality, the only goal is to meet one’s own needs, so the emotions, feelings, or thoughts of others are unimportant. The final tenet of aggressive discourse keeps conversations icy and tense.

Participants are disconnected and at odds with one another throughout the communication process.

Characteristics of Aggressive Communication

Since aggressive communication can take many different forms, it encompasses not only verbal aspects but also para-verbal, linguistic, attitude, and the tone of voice. Keep in mind that aggressive communication does not always involve the same components. The intensity with which they express themselves varies as well.

In this way, depending on the other factors identified, a conversation with low tones and calm speech can also be aggressive communication.

This kind of communicative process uses the six factors that define the traits of aggressive communication. It is not necessary to meet all of these traits to qualify as aggressive communication.

1: General Behavior

The term “general behavior” refers to all aspects of a person’s behavior while engaging in communication. Therefore, it establishes generic components of behavior rather than specific elements of behavior.

This is how an aggressive communicator can be identified by his tendency to assert his superiority through his actions. In order to convince the other person of its superiority and induce them to take on an obedient and submissive role, the communicator adopts a hostile posture.

Additionally, the communicator’s overall tone comes across as aggressive and imposing. The actions taken are not neutral; they aim to make communication more tense so that others will fear and submit to them.

2: Attitude

The goal of the aggressive communicator’s actions is to portray an angry and demanding personality. Since the primary goal of communication is to express dominance, this outlook serves as its foundation.

In other words, a person’s violent attitude can be conveyed through any and all of their means of self-expression, not just through words. In fact, tone of voice, movement, and eye contact are frequently used to express the demanding attitudes of aggressive communication.

Although it may be necessary to restrict one’s speech to the truth in order to avoid an argument, the attitude and tone of the communicator are crucial factors to consider when deciding whether a communication is aggressive.

3: Verbal Components

The verbal components are the parts of communication that have to do with language. A big part of what makes aggressive communication what it is is the heavy use of implications. Additionally, they often criticize others’ actions multiple times and use threatening language.

These things make it hard for people to say what they want and are meant to help people reach their own goals during communication. Words like “beam,” “should,” “evil,” and “you would do well if…” are often used by aggressive communicators.

Sometimes it’s better to use words that are more neutral and only talk about personal things and needs. On the other hand, asking a lot of questions at once is a sign of aggressive communication. So, the sender sends a lot of information at once, making it hard for someone to respond at the same time.

Lastly, when aggressive communicators are asked a question, they often answer with another question or an answer that has nothing to do with the original question.

4: Voice Tone and Volume

When communicating aggressively, the tone tends to rise and is typically firm, icy, and authoritative. The same was true of the cries or intonations, which became more and more routine as the speech progressed.

The point of using intonation is to sound more authoritative and sophisticated than the speaker next to you. As a result, the volume of one’s voice may be heavily influenced by the intonation of those around them. It is not the intention of the issuer of aggressive communication that the discourse of others will become more prominent than his own, either in terms of its subject matter or its sonic intensity.

5: Length and speed of conversations (paralinguistics)

One of the most prominent features of aggressive communication is the timing and volume of the words used.

When communicating aggressively, the sender may take up too much of the receiver’s time by talking excessively. The purpose of this component is to limit the other person’s opportunity to reply. The aggressive communicator is only interested in getting his message across and will go to any lengths to avoid involving the recipient.

This is why aggressive communicators are less likely to pause or maintain silences during conversations.

6: Nonverbal Components

Lastly, non-verbal parts of communication also play a big role in aggressive communication. It’s usually the words, the body language, and the arm movements they use for emphasis. When it comes to how the face looks, it is usually tight. They usually frown and rarely smile or send other signs of friendliness.

When someone communicates in an aggressive way, they look right into your eyes. Their look is also usually fixed and penetrating, which shows that they are challenging you. Often, the intensity of the gaze makes the person being looked at uncomfortable enough to look away. The tone of voice used in aggressive communication is scary.

Also read: 11 Characteristics of Proactive People

Finally, aggressive communication is often accompanied by intense and exaggerated gestures and movements. These are frequently perceived as threatening and play an important role in expressing the aggressive communicator’s attitude.

Examples

Aggressive communication can occur in multiple contexts. Likewise, it can be performed by different individuals with different personality traits. Thus, there is no single type of aggressive communication. Each case may look and sound different depending on the situation.

Three communicative examples in the same situation can demonstrate aggressive communication and distinguish it from other forms.

• After making a purchase, a customer may discover that the seller provided incorrect change, returning less money than was expected.

Answer 1 (assertive communication): “You have given the incorrect change; I have paid you with a $20 , and you have given me change for $10.” “Do not worry; we can all make mistakes.”

Answer 2 (passive communication): “Sorry, I think you gave me less change, although I’m not sure if I paid with a ticket of $20 or if it was $10.”

Answer 3 (aggressive communication): “Hey, you’re wrong.” I paid you with a $20, and you gave me the wrong change. “

Conclusion

As you can tell, aggressive communication has more of a negative emotion associated with the words. You can also imagine the tone that each response was likely delivered with based on the words used.

All three responses could have had the same results in resolving the mistake that was made. But the aggressive style could have upset the cashier and made her feel inadequate at her job.