Maintaining a happy couple relationship is fundamental to having a good quality of life and to enjoy life. Spending time together and improving communication are two of the keys, although below we’ll explain other tips you can apply.
Is your relationship stalled and do you feel that you are no longer happy? You may be going through a bad stage or you do not finish solving some important problems.
Happy couple Relationship
Although it seems endless, you can solve this situation and begin a stage in which both you and your partner start to feel better with each other.
We all aspire to find love. Find a person with who to share our life, make us happy, care for us and love us more than anyone else in the world.
This is sometimes not easy, you run into people who seem to seem the right one, but in the end something goes wrong. Until you finally find the one with which you can imagine a future and a life to share and everything is beautiful and wonderful.
However, once you find it, it’s time to face the adventure of keeping love alive and being a happy couple.
All couples argue, have conflicts and go through multiple problems, including monotony that can wear down both their members and end up affecting the stability of the couple. The key is to resolve them without the relationship deteriorating too much.
Tips for having a healthy and happy couple relationship
1- Have a realistic view of what a couple is
The first weeks of a relationship, even the first months, to the first year! everything is beautiful and wonderful, you are in love and you will be forever, or so you think.
But time passes and that tingling, that inexplicable happiness and those nerves to be together are diminishing and are becoming something else, feelings that are not so flashy, but more stable and firm.
Sometimes this change is interpreted as something negative, like that spark has disappeared and love is running out, and then comes the drama.
The myths and beliefs you have about what a couple are can sometimes do a lot of damage by focusing on how it should be according to standard parameters rather than the characteristics of your own relationship.
Surely you hear some of these most common myths:
- The members of the couple should be best friends.
- The couple should do it all together.
- If your partner really loves you, you will know what you think and feel.
- Couples should tell you everything.
- If your partner loves you, it is normal for him to feel jealous.
- If you feel guilty, confess.
- You have to fight at all costs for your relationship.
- Having a child arranges the relationship when it goes wrong.
- An unhappy couple is better than a broken home.
- If your partner wants to leave you, hold on to her and fight.
- Opposites attract and complement each other.
- Couples should not reveal their problems to strangers.
- Conform what you have.
These types of beliefs are very frequent and often generate conflict and suffering in the couple.
A couple is a couple, you are not friends, the feeling and commitment is totally different. Clearly there is complicity and friendship, but something more is needed. And to prove it is the well-known friend zone.
In fact, many pares have stopped being so when realizing that they are more friendly than something else.
It is important to understand that a couple is composed of three elements: person a, person B, and the union of the two. Each member is independent and must contribute to maintaining that union, in the moment in which they forget themselves, it will be difficult for the couple, the union, to be healthy and strong.
2- Care for the relationship
Like most things in life, if you do not take care of them, they break even the most resistant ones. The same is true of relationships, not just of relationships.
Some people believe that relationships go well naturally, that once you meet someone there is nothing more to do. You assume that it will always be there, total, you want so much that everything is already done.
But maybe you’ve heard that “sometimes love is not enough” and a relationship is more than just feelings. The details, the things that are done in common, the individual growth of each one, the care of the other, of the self and the future that you want to build together influence.
Couples have to evolve, advance, grow and that requires time and dedication. Embrace kiss, pet, hold hands when you walk down the street, and show your love to the world.
3- Spend time together
What sense does any kind of relationship have if you do not share time together? Even more so when talking about couples, everything is more intense.
Spending time with someone joins, but as is said on so many occasions: the important thing is not the quantity but the quality of that time. Imagine that you work together, even if you spend many hours with each other, the only thing you will be sharing is work.
It is important that you get to know each other in different aspects of life and that you share time doing things in pairs, without interruptions, without children, without pets … What you do is that you do more than watch TV together: go on a trip, go out for dinner … All kinds of activities that interest you both.
4- To miss
While it is necessary to cultivate the relationship of couple spending time together, doing things separately also contributes to their maintenance.
Contrary to what popular wisdom has taught us, spending separate time is healthy for the couple.
When you start dating someone, the tendency is to disappear from the group of friends, especially in the first moments. However, it is important to maintain the social circle independently. That you want to go out with your friends alone does not mean that you want less.
It is beneficial to have self-interests and to carry out activities alone or with other people. Thus, you continue to evolve and grow as an individual and you have more experiences to share with your partner.
Equally, it serves to miss the couple. Recognize that when you spend a lot of time with someone you get used to it, you settle in and you forget about how important that person is.
Saving the distances, when you are all the time with your partner happens the same as when you buy something you like a lot. You use it every day, you take it everywhere, you love to look at it and always have it close, but time is passing and interest is diminishing until your attention goes to something else.
This does not mean that you no longer like that thing, but you are tired and you need new stimuli, new interests. In fact, if you look at it after some time, you feel the urge to use it again.
It is clear that your partner is not an object and that the feelings you have towards her are not the same as the ones you have for things (or at least they should not be), so that diminishing interest is not synonymous with lack of love does not mean that you have to leave it for another person. But it is important for you as a person to explore the other facets of your life, beyond “being the couple”.
5- Do not try to change your partner
Think about when you met your partner, what did you most like about her? What made her adorable?
Usually happens, with the passage of time, that which attracted you so much and that made it so special relegated in the background and things that bother you become the protagonists. And then you think about why you do not stop doing those things, behave differently and do things the way you like them. In short, why not change.
This is one of the most common beliefs, especially among women, the topic of the sweet girl who believes she can change the rebellious boy. What we do not realize is that this rarely comes to fruition.
Your partner is not someone you can mold to make it your own. You are both independent people, with your virtues and defects.
That you like good things is very easy, accepting the defects is more complicated and you tend to want to change the other so you do not have them.
You may be able to lessen that behavior that is so bad for you, for example, that you do not leave the toothpaste open. But there will be things that are part of your way of being and if he or she is like that … it’s your choice, or you take it or leave it.
6- Seek the benefit of differences
This point is closely related to the previous one. Once you assume that you cannot change your way of being and accept your partner as it is, you can take one more step and begin to appreciate those things that differentiate you.
Think how boring and monotonous it would be to be with someone identical to you, who always thinks just like you, wants to do the same things as you … Your coordination is such that you even feel like going to the bathroom at the same time.
The fact that you have differences is what gives balance to the relationship. It is always necessary to have other points of view from which to see life.
7- Knowing how to communicate
The main problem that most couples have is that they do not know how to communicate. With how easy it seems!
In the communication intervene diverse variables beyond the message that we want to transmit. For example, the words used the gestures, the tone of voice, and the moment in which it is said…
The confluence of all these elements can lead to great discussions of couples, even when the message went with all the good intention of the world.
Another popular belief that affects communication is that your partner must always know what you think and feel, even without telling you.
It would be nice enough that when you start dating someone, you both acquire the superpower of telepathy. However, I’m sorry to say that does not happen and if you do not explain what happens to you, your partner will never find out.
It is true that there are people, who are more observant and perceptive, able to know what happens to you just by looking at you. Normally that person is your mother and some good friend; it does not necessarily have to be your partner.
So, to get a good couple communication in which there is hardly any misunderstandings you can do two basic things:
- Speak: express clearly what worries you bothers you, thinks and feels. Without waiting for the other to understand something beyond what you have expressed and, to be able to be, without offending or belittling the other.
- Listen: listen to what your partner is telling you, not what you think he is saying. If you have any questions, ask once you have finished speaking and try to understand their point of view.
8- Be honest
An important part of happiness and stability in relationships is sincerity and honesty, because when the mistrust is installed in the couple, this can lead to a multitude of problems.
Although with this theme you have to be careful, because being honest does not mean having the obligation to share everything with your partner.
Honesty and sincerity means expressing to your partner what you think and feel about something, even if it is things that you know he or she does not want to hear.
But eye, that does not involve sinking it into misery by telling you all the things it does wrong, we are talking about things that really need the other person to know.
Your partner ends up being the people you trust the most, among other things because you think that you seek your good and happiness, so if you see that there is something that is going to hurt you should tell you.
9- Respect each other
If there is an important point in this list, it is certainly this. Respect. Once you lose respect for the other, the relationship tends to go downhill and it is difficult to stabilize it again.
Mutual respect is something that is worked daily, being aware of the things each one does for the other, valuing and thanking them.
But it is necessary to be careful especially in the moment of the differences, when the arguments arrive, because it is when it is easier to lose respect and resort to insult and degradation in order to win the battle.
And in the end no one is gaining anything, on the contrary, you hurt the person you want and you move further. Because, although it is known that they say in a moment of anger and anger, the words hurt equally and sometimes it is not easy to forget that damage.
10- Have a common project.
Last but not least. If there is something that characterizes a couple is having a project in common, whether of coexistence, of having pets, children…
In the case of happy couples, this project is usually the same for both. The problem comes when one wants one thing and the other another or when both want the same, but at different times.
Here the communication capacity of the couple intervenes to a great extent, to avoid misunderstandings, confusion and unnecessary discussions.
It is natural that even though it is clear that the same future project is shared, it is not synchronized in when to carry it out.
I stress again that in a couple, each person is independent and carries his rhythm. It is a matter of agreeing and waiting for the time for both.