Last Updated on February 19, 2023 by Mike Robinson
Are you living or existing? Many people feel compelled to respond to this question. On the one hand, many of us are told as children that our society is “free,” where everyone can pursue their goals. But do you feel free by how you live your life?
Do you the sometimes have the desire to abandon everything right now and pursue your dreams? If the response is “no,” you might only be existing rather than truly living.
Are We Programmed for Living or Existing?
From childhood to adulthood, many people don’t even consider that they might be living their lives differently until it is too late. It’s simple enough to get stuck in a rut by simply existing. After all, you must work to have food and a roof over your head.
Every aspect of society tries to convince us of how crucial it is to act the way other people do. But what is “normal”? Take a job working long, arduous hours. Then return home, spend a few hours with your family, and repeat the next day.
Perhaps we should apply for a credit card to put in more grueling hours to pay it off and work toward those two or three weeks every year when we can relax or indulge in glorious escapism.
How on Earth is that “normal”?
Where Did Our Inner-Child Go?
If you were ever to have a child, you would advise them to pursue their happiness. Go! Achieve your goals. But as soon as we become adults, we lose joy in living and start just existing. We begin adhering to the “rules.” We start acting in ways that society tells us we “should.”
It would be beneficial if we could rediscover that inner child that has long been lost.
What Does it Mean to Exist?
Do you still believe you are actually living and not just existing? What does it mean to “exist”? Existing in this sense is best described as “living on autopilot.” Without giving your goals or aspirations a second thought, you go through each day as it comes, doing what you “have” to do.
For most people who even question whether they are living or existing, this means spending eight hours or more each weekday at a job they detest or tolerate at best. Do you get up from your bed because you have work to do.
Learn to Embrace Changes
The fear of change prevents you from ever making a change. Instead of contemplating what it truly feels like to be alive at that precise moment, you go about your daily activities.
If that describes you, you may be starting your own conflict between living or existing. What distinguishes existence from living? The distinction between existing and living is relatively straightforward, so if you are truly living, you wake up each day with a purpose other than “I must pay the bills.” You pursue your dream, at least in part, because you have one. Also, you are probably thankful for what you have and that you are still alive.
You don’t have to pursue materialistic goals to obtain the things you desire. A person who is living doesn’t fear change. They are aware that things change in life. They accept each moment as it comes and is content enough with who they are. Therefore, they don’t need to constantly strive for the next job improvement, raise in pay, or promotion.
Existing means simply getting what you need to survive.
How to Begin Living
Control is the key distinction between someone who is living and someone who is merely existing. Externally, this means you should stop giving in to peer or social pressure and stop allowing their opinions of you to guide your behavior. Internally, this means giving into the ego or your emotions, particularly fear.
There are several things you can do to regain control over these external and internal factors:
1) Start by asking, “Why?” What’s the purpose of this? Why are you experiencing this? Be truthful to yourself.
2) Know when to say “no.” Do you really want to go to a hockey game with co-workers this evening? Especially since you hate hockey. Wouldn’t you prefer to spend the evening alone working on your hobby or dream? You shouldn’t always act as though you “have” to. Learn when to say, “no thanks.”
3) Discover your happy place. Learn a little more about you. What brings you joy? Even if you are unaware of specific activities, keep in mind how wonderful it is that you are alive and well. Become adept at finding joy in the little things and in what you already own.
4) Take a step back. When you’ve been in the same rut for a while, it can be challenging to know what needs to change. Get away from everything. Do it to gain some perspective; don’t go on vacation to escape reality. Use it to find yourself.
5) Identify a goal. After searching and finding some perspective, finding a purpose is the next step. A goal will motivate you to get out of bed in the morning more than any alarm clock ever could. Remember that “getting money to pay the bills” is necessary. But it serves no function.
6) Learn how to let go. If we let go of what was bothering us, we could eliminate many sources of stress and regret. Naturally, it’s easier said than done. But it’s a reality we all must face if we want to live rather than merely exist.
Conclusion
Think about how you can start living instead of existing. Being thankful for everything you have and looking for the good in every day is one way to live more fully.
As you move through this world, you’re learning that it’s normal to fail and that things change. To live, you have to accept that nothing lasts forever. People have to choose to live every day. To just exist is to do nothing with your life.
When you have some time to yourself, ask yourself if you want to start living your life and making the most of your time on Earth. Find out what you like to do and what makes you happy. Spend time figuring out who you are so you can live in this world instead of just existing in it.
