Last Updated on March 9, 2023 by Mike Robinson

What is Autophobia?

A person with autophobia is the fear of being alone, feels insecure, and is unable to take care of themselves. Being alone with oneself can be a pleasure for some and difficult for others.

The key to overcoming autophobia or any fears you may have is to understand who you are. To aid you in this process of learning how to get over your fear, I encourage you to write a journal entry about “my fear”. You can always have it close at hand and use it as necessary. Here are 12 steps to help you get over your fear of being alone. I hope it’s helpful.

12 Steps to Overcoming Autophobia

Steps 1–3: Assessing Fear

1. Recognize your fear of loneliness.

Recognizing and accepting your fear of being alone and your desire to overcome it is the first step. Therefore, honestly examine yourself, always being aware of your emotions, no matter how unpleasant they may be. You can start facing your fear once you become aware of it. There are different levels of loneliness anxiety, from low to high levels of stress. There are some people with autophobia who cannot even be left alone for a second. These people immediately experience a panic or anxiety attack. And those who don’t panic but still experience extreme insecurity when they are by themselves.

2. Analyze your fear.

Knowing yourself and, by extension, your fears well is crucial when facing your fears, as I stated at the beginning of the article. When you fully understand your fear, it ceases to be something unknown, and you can stop being so afraid.

To address your autophobia, you need to probe deeper into your fears associated with being by yourself. Analyze your fear’s characteristics and record them in your journal. For example, note when you feel more afraid and how anxious you are on a scale of 0 to 10. Then determine how long it has lasted and what you were thinking at the time. Following this analysis, you need to ask yourself this fundamental question: What about being alone scares you the most? In your journal, note the response to this query. These steps are what it takes to get over this fear.

3. What’s the worst that could happen?

You’ve identified your fear, analyzed it, and determined what it is that you fear most about being alone. Now we’ll consider the worst-case scenario: What’s the worst that could happen to me? In your journal, write down your response to this question.

Then consider the following questions: Is that really that bad? Could you handle it if it happened to you? Rewrite the answers in your journal. Read aloud everything you’ve written. Do you see the problem differently now that you’ve written it in more concrete terms?

This procedure will assist you in relativizing and mocking the consequences of your fear of being alone.

Steps 4–5: Analyze your behavior with others. 

4. How do you behave with your friends?

Autophobia shapes the way you interact with people. You will behave in a certain way to avoid being alone at all costs. Therefore, it is likely that you treat your friends kindly on a physical and emotional level in your interactions with them.

To keep them by your side, you might go above and beyond what is considered normal. If this describes your behavior, you need to make some adjustments. I suggest that you conduct the following analysis ahead of time:

• You try to give that friendship everything you have , but it doesn’t really need that extra work. It will survive without it.
• Based on the above, you actually give that person a lot, not because they need it but because you are afraid they will leave your side.
• You want to do more and more for that person because you’re afraid they’ll leave you. If that person is gone, you might start to think, “Maybe I haven’t given enough. If I had given more of myself, they wouldn’t have left.” This is a painful and untrue way to think.
• As a result, in your subsequent friendship, you will make an effort to give more of yourself. As a result, you will be even more afraid of them leaving you alone.

You can see that it is a vicious circle because you are afraid to be by yourself, and it is feeding on your behavior.

After conducting this analysis, you should state the following: The answer is not to take steps to keep from being alone. Learning to be by yourself is the answer.

5. Giving too much is not healthy. 

Now, take a look at your current or past relationships and evaluate them. No doubt your closest relationships have suffered from your anxiety about being alone.

If you’ve given 100% with your friends, you’ve probably given 200% with your significant other. You’ve sacrificed a lot more than you should have.

It’s possible that you’ve sacrificed so much that you no longer have any sense of safety or pride in yourself. It’s also possible that unhealthy relationships will form because of your aversion to being alone.

The relationships last only as long as the fear of being alone persists, and they are typically superficial and short-lived. We’re back in the same old trap.

The end result of following these instructions is not for you to accept isolation. The key is overcoming your fear of being alone so that you can develop meaningful relationships with others out of a desire to share your life with them, rather than the opposite.

Steps 6–8: Taking action

Remember, if you really want to cure your autophobia, you have to believe in yourself and give it your all. It’s not easy, but it’s worth the effort. Yes, it’s challenging to overcome a phobia, but it’s even more challenging to live with one.

6. Stand up to your fear.

Make a list of the benefits and drawbacks of learning to be alone in your journal. Considering the positives and negatives of your relationships with friends, your partner, and yourself will help you maintain perspective.

• Think about how you think you would act with your friends if you stopped having this fear.
• How do you think you would act with your partner if you stopped having this fear?
• How would you feel about yourself if you did not have this fear? What do you think you would gain, and what do you think you would lose?

7. Specific goals and objectives

For example, you can aim to spend 30 minutes every day alone. You with yourself.

Define how you are going to use these 30 minutes alone. You can spend 30 minutes reflecting on yourself—your tastes, your beliefs, your way of looking at life, your desires, etc.

Or you can use it to do some fun activities on your own. For example, playing sports, playing games, reading, writing, drawing, etc.

Write down these goals in your journal, and be sure to cross them out as you achieve them.

They need to be clear, measurable, and doable. If you set goals that are too hard to reach, it’s easy to give up. You have to start with something easy and make it harder as you go.

8. Expose your fear.

You have written down your goals in your journal and made sure they are clear. Now you need to do each one. (Not all at once, but in a step-by-step

• Start by assessing, on a scale of 1 to 10, the level of anxiety that you think you will feel when spending thirty minutes alone. Record the score in your journal.
• After completing the task, score the anxiety you actually felt on a scale of 1 to 10. Write it down in your journal.
• If the anxiety level is 0, go to the next goal. If the anxiety is greater than 0, repeat the objective until your anxiety equals 0.

You can also write down the resources you have used to not feel fear. These resources can help you reach your next goal.

Steps from 9 to 10: Work on personal development

9. Develop your own interests.

One thing you need to do to learn how to be alone is to learn how to be independent and to have your own interests, wants, and beliefs.

You might think you don’t have any hobbies or interests right now, but that’s only because you haven’t taken the time to look into them.

Are you ready to climb the great mountain to test your skills? Take out your journal again and write down all the things you’ve ever wanted to try or thought you’d get along with. Then, start doing them and proving yourself.

They can be a lot of different things, like dancing, writing, taking pictures, drawing, painting, playing the piano or guitar, going horseback riding, golfing, climbing, learning about history, symbolism, or theater. Try to find out something interesting you didn’t know about yourself. That will help you feel better about yourself and have more faith in yourself.

10. Get feedback from other people.

Talk to people you trust about what you’re doing to improve yourself. Request their help with this change. They help you take more initiative, speak up for yourself, and ask others for what you want. Practice with them to learn how to say things more directly, how to say what you need, and how to ask instead of just giving. If you start running again, people who know you can help you get back on track. This time, you should be the one to ask for help and let them let you help.

Steps 11 through 12: Tools to help you.

11. Positive Visualization

Visualizing anxiety-inducing scenes may help you face being alone. Think about what you want to accomplish and try to picture it. The vision must always be upbeat. You have to be able to see yourself coming out on top.

For example, if you have to go to a party, close your eyes and try to see yourself going to that party with a lot of confidence in yourself. Imagine yourself getting there and greeting the people with firm smiles and a sense of self-assurance.

Positive visualization will make it easier to be the person you want to be.

Also Read: What is Helplessness Learned and How to Avoid It?

12. Get professional help.

You may find that your fear of being alone persists despite taking these measures. Then it may be time to seek professional help through psychotherapy.

This anxiety about being alone has deep roots. Fear can be conquered using these methods without ever getting to the bottom of its origins. However, sometimes it’s necessary to get to the bottom of things and fix them properly.

Of course, no one should put off seeing a therapist until the last possible moment. You can also choose to work with a professional from the get-go if you’d like to boost your assurance and have someone to lean on as you go.