Last Updated on April 13, 2023 by Mike Robinson
Learning how to be happy in life each day, with or without a partner and whether or not you have money, is one of the best decisions you can make. Being happy with yourself, without depending on anyone is important, since the external circumstances always change irremediably.
Many people consider that pursuing happiness is the fundamental goal in life, although very few can describe it.
In general, we could say that happiness is a feeling of general satisfaction with our life as well as the ability to enjoy all that we have, material and spiritual.
Following Seligman, an author who has extensively studied the concept of happiness, we can find three types:
Hedonistic happiness refers to everything that brings you happiness in a momentary way, such as a nice dinner, an afternoon at a spa, a day at the beach, etc.
For some, this is the only kind of happiness they pursue, thinking that by getting it, they will become happy. However, it is something ephemeral, whose consequences do not usually last.
If you want to know how to be happy, you must change your way of thinking. Therefore, to have more lasting happiness, you should consider the following:
Happiness due to your abilities: surely you have experienced a feeling of well-being when someone has congratulated you for your work. Being competent in a specific area and putting this ability into practice brings you a degree of happiness more stable and lasting than the previous one.
For you to see it more clearly, some examples could be: to have a good command of the new technologies; to know several languages; to be good at sports; etc.
You get happiness by giving your life meaning, and this guy is the most complex. It is about the well-being produced by valuing the sacrifices you make in your daily life with the aim of improving the lives of others.
You can get this kind of happiness by contributing your help in social work, being an attentive parent, defending the rights of animals, among others.
10 steps and tips to be happy.
Plan enjoyable activities in your free time.
According to Seligman, as we have said before, there are many activities that bring you happiness immediately in your day-to-day life. Learn to value everything that makes you feel good and gives you satisfaction and perform these activities more frequently.
Surely, if you stop to think about it, you can think of infinite examples of pleasant activities when you are learning how to be happy.
Instead of supporting the detestable jams, take a bike ride to work, enjoy reading a good book, prepare your favorite food, and perform some sport (running, pilates, spinning, swimming, etc.).
As you can see, there are numerous options you have in your day-to-day life to increase your personal satisfaction.
Take advantage of all the opportunities you have during your free time, since if you spend it sitting on the sofa in front of the television, your satisfaction and happiness will be much less.
Make your activities a habit.
If doing activities is important, making them a habit is even more so. It is not enough that you perform sporadic physical exercise. In fact, this will not help increase your sense of well-being.
However, doing some kind of activity routinely, such as going for a run, going to Pilates, or practicing yoga, will bring you numerous physical and emotional benefits.
Commit yourself to what truly brings you well-being, focusing your attention on the activity you are doing at that moment and on the here and now to fully enjoy it.
Therefore, it is not enough to go running; you have to pay attention to your surroundings, enjoy nature, feel how clean air enters your body, enjoy the pleasant feeling after the shower, etc.
Spend more time with friends and family.
It has also been commented before that one of the factors that contributes most to happiness is having satisfactory social relations. If you do any of the activities mentioned in the previous point with friends or family, your satisfaction will be even greater.
Humans are social beings, so enjoying the company of others is a basic necessity. Spend a little more time enjoying the company of others, especially the most important people in your life.
For example, if you are a parent, you might want to spend more time with your children in the park or read a bedtime story (instead of watching TV).
If you are a student, spend some time with your classmates after school, where you can talk about your concerns, interests, etc.
Accept what you cannot change.
Throughout life, you will always find obstacles, difficulties, and the unforeseen that can affect you negatively and escape your control. The death of a loved one or the fact that you leave your partner are examples of things that do not depend on you.
The only thing you can do about it is carry out an adaptation process so you can get on with it and make your life as satisfying as possible, despite the circumstances around you.
Face your emotions and learn to manage them in a positive way, such as through writing, leaning on people around you, etc.
Although this cannot be achieved immediately, you have to learn to respond to adversity by accepting all that you have no control over and focusing on what you can change.
Learn to know yourself.
Having a greater self-knowledge of yourself, keeping in mind your abilities and defects, will help you become a better version of yourself.
To do this, take time to reflect on your concerns, your fears, and your personal goals.
Write from time to time about the things you would like to change about yourself and point out the ones with which you feel satisfied.
Do not feel weak by showing yourself as a sensitive person, but as a person with enough strength to accept yourself as you are.
Spend money on the people around you.
Another interesting study that analyzes the relationship between money and happiness shows that sometimes money does bring happiness. This occurs when, instead of spending the money on yourself (which is often used on unnecessary objects), you spend it on people around you.
Thus, by buying a gift for a friend, family member, or your partner, you will achieve a state of well-being that will increase your level of perceived happiness.
This may seem like a counter-intuitive method of how to be happy, but for most people, making other’s close to you happy bring you happiness as well.
Also Read: 6 Incredible Benefits of Smiling Supported by Science
Put this advice into practice by surprising one of the people closest to you, even if you do not have a specific reason (such as birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, etc.) and even if it is not a very expensive item.
Check yourself to see how good it makes you feel to make such a generous gesture.
Take the time to feel good.
There is no number of hours of sleep that is suitable for all people, although generally are recommended around 7-8 hours per night.
Try to keep your sleep rhythm regular, avoiding sleeping or sleeping too much, since in both cases you will be less rested the next day, so you will not be able to appreciate the small pleasures of everyday life.
Some tips for better sleep are: do not dine too late; do not eat heavy food; and have no distractions in the room (television, electronic devices, etc.).
Make goals for your life.
This point is especially important if you want to be happier. Surely there are many purposes you have in mind, but you never find the time to carry them out.
Do not wait until Monday or start a new year. Start today to fight for what you want to achieve.
Having something to fight for will encourage you to get out of bed every day, and you can sleep peacefully at night, thinking that you have come a little closer to your dreams.
Great goals will take time to reach, but they are truly worthwhile and contribute more to your sense of well-being and happiness. Set clear goals, such as quitting smoking, learning to ski, starting English classes, etc.
The important thing is that you set your own goals based on your personal interests. If you propose to start a new activity to please a friend or your partner, the activity in question will not contribute anything, so you end up abandoning it.
If it is a complicated goal, divide it into different steps, so you will have a better understanding of the position you are in and it will be easier for you to direct your behavior.
For example, if you want to improve your level of English, you should think about choosing a good academy, attending classes to get a basic English certificate, then another intermediate certificate, and so on.
Marking an unreal objective will increase your frustration; you will feel overwhelmed and opt to abandon your goal. As you can see, these are small changes that, together, will help your happiness increase.
Those who say that happiness is found in small things may be right.
What does happiness depend on?
According to some studies, 50% of our happiness depends on our genetic predisposition to be optimistic or pessimistic at birth. Does this mean happiness is unchangeable? Absolutely. You control 40% of your happiness. These researchers attribute 10% to our surroundings.
Therefore, although you often think that you are happy or sad about what has happened in your life, circumstances are not the only cause of how you feel.
Let’s look at some examples of how circumstances only temporarily affect happiness. Imagine winning the lottery and becoming wealthy. Since many of your daily problems were solved, you would be happier in the months following this event.
However, soon you would begin to settle into this new life, after which you would experience the same general satisfaction with your life as before winning the lottery.
In fact, it has been found that when workers receive a salary increase, they usually settle in a few months and get used to the new economy, so they do not feel happier than before.
Obviously, problems getting to the end of the month can threaten our well-being and tranquility. This study shows that as long as our salary meets our basic needs—paying bills, saving, traveling, etc.—it does not affect our happiness. Knowing this, some companies reward employees with family trips, which increase perceived happiness.
This is because interpersonal relationships are one of the most determining factors in our happiness.
Recovering from negative events is another example of how little your surroundings affect your happiness. You probably lost a loved one or a job.
In both cases, it is inevitable that you will suffer and have a bad time in your life. However, to continue with your life, to recover, and to continue chasing your happiness, it depends on you.
