An abortion is a hard experience and one that must be waged, but it can also make the person who suffers it stronger and more resilient.
How to overcome an abortion
As such, it is often experienced as a process of loss. And human losses are one of the most difficult experiences that live our species.
When an abortion happens, it is not only the woman who suffers; so does your partner, your family and your closest environment.
Each one does it from its place and in its own way. But the “strategy” to process as healthy a abortion as possible, is one that involves the union and support of the whole family and friends.
At times, other people appear in our life, which precisely come through a painful fact. Either because the same has happened to them or because simply chance has put them in our way. It is also worth counting and availing of your support.
In this article we will focus on the type of miscarriage and spontaneous abortion. We will see everything that can be done to help the woman and the couple overcome this difficult transit.
Nor should we forget the little ones in the home, who often suffer in silence.
10 Actions to overcome an abortion
I will share the advice for women, families and siblings:
The 4 things a woman can do
There are no rules or protocol to follow to deal with such a situation.
However there are practices and attitudes that often help a lot and the vast majority of people. These are some of them:
1-Make a professional psychological consultation
Regardless of how you feel, whatever your age, the family support you have, etc., consulting a psychologist will help.
Even if you are not going to start a therapy, it is absolutely necessary for better grief processing to talk to a professional.
From a conversation you will derive a series of tools and information very useful for you. In that instance they may even assess the need to start a treatment or not.
Abortion is a loss and therefore there is a duel to live associated with it. Each of us human beings conduct duels differently, but it hurts us all and is a process that takes time.
2-Talk and learn about the topic
Although sometimes tents to avoid talking or thinking about what happened, it seems that doing so revives the pain; Talking is good.
In the case of abortion, just read an article or a post on the internet, to know the large number of people who go through this same situation.
Will being informed will decrease the pain? Surely not, but it helps to understand certain things.
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On the other hand, if you talk to someone you trust about what is happening to you, you may feel more relieved.
Figures released by the World Health Organization indicate that almost 15% of pregnancies worldwide suffer from miscarriage.
Clearly this indicates that there are many women in the world who suffer from miscarriage, you are not the only one.
Most of these women are not guilty of having suffered, so you should not feel guilty about what happened to you.
The number of spontaneous abortions could reach almost 50%, as it often occurs without being recognized as such.
Before the mother knows she is pregnant, she suffers from bleeding that can be confused with menstruation, and loses the embryo. Many of these cases are not reported and therefore are not integrated into the statistics.
Scientific data disclosed by specialized media show that many women are now experiencing miscarriage. The causes are multiple and although there are risk factors, surely you are not responsible for having lost the pregnancy.
3-Promote and use a favorable environment
You may feel very sad, depressed, and unable to seek help and restraint.
If you believe that this is your case, then let the loved ones of your environment approach.
Accept their suggestions, which although they may be wrong come from a real intention to help you. You must not remain paralyzed and stagnant, let yourself be helped.
If you know someone who has gone through your same situation, approach and talk to her about the subject. In this sense, participating in forums or blogs and communicating with other women who have suffered a miscarriage, will surely help you a lot.
You will see, among other things that it has taken each woman a different time to process her grieving. Take the pressure off of having to be well within a certain period, there are no rules for this.
4-Share with the couple
Many times we forget the other person, who after us is the one who is suffering most from abortion.
It is indeed difficult to speak of the intensity of suffering, for each one experience painful experiences in a different way.
However, when an abortion happens the man suffers for two reasons: an expected child that will not arrive and a couple that goes through a major duel.
Many times, even influenced by society itself, man feels less important in this story.
He is supposed to be the support of his partner and not allowed to cry. Enjoy and share with him.
Both are suffering a lot and for the same reason. The shared penalty becomes more bearable, in addition to the fact that the bond of couple can be enriched.
They both find themselves in a very painful and new situation and both prove that they can share it together. This will empower them and make them feel accompanied.
5-Putting new goals
After an abortion there is a breach of expectations. That is, you were looking forward to a baby, but it did not arrive.
To regain illusion, you can set new goals that will excite you. It’s one of the best ways to get your motivation back.
The 3 things the family can do
It is not only the woman who suffers when an abortion occurs, since she does not live in isolation.
The family or the surrounding environment also suffers and also has to overcome the fact. But he lives in a more indirect way and in turn knows the couple very well.
For this reason, the family can help a lot. How? In the following ways:
6-Talk and treat “properly” the topic
It is common for the mothers of both partners to tend to comfort their children by phrases such as “they will re-conceive another pregnancy” or “over time they will pass,” etc. Please refrain from pronouncing these phrases!
They do not help relieve the pain as well they do not treat the point properly. Each pregnancy is unique and time does not make us forget a human loss. It only helps to coexist with pain in a more natural way.
It is appropriate to approach the couple and tell them directly that they are to support them and accompany them in this painful process.
The important thing is to create an environment in which the couple feels that the whole family lives the loss and that they are not the only ones.
7-Remove objects allusive to the baby
Although it sometimes seems like a detail, seeing things that were meant for the baby can be heartbreaking for parents.
The more advanced the pregnancy, this effect is usually greater and more objects are also bought for the baby.
8-Facilitate tasks for the couple
Especially during the first time, family and friends can do specific tasks, such as going to the supermarket and doing the shopping for the couple.
The main effect this type of aid has is the psychological. The couple, through a different behavior feels the support of their loved ones in such a special moment.
Ways to help children
It was the turn of the little ones. Sometimes children do not talk about the subject but suffer in silence.
In case the couple already has a child, the brother who was to be born will no longer.
Although it clearly depends on the child’s age, they generally do not understand the reasons for the loss.
They also do not know how to act on it. We can help you as follows:
9-Treat children as capable people
Do not underestimate the intelligence of the child and try to explain the situation with inappropriate metaphors.
It is best to convey a clear and direct message about what has happened.
The language to be used must be adapted to your age, and you must take care of certain delicate words like “death”.
Let us not underestimate their pain, for children have an incredible capacity to guard their feelings.
As we often think we do not understand, we get confused and think that they do not feel or feel less.
10-Understand them and integrate them to the duel
On some occasions, the children express or feel jealous about the arrival of someone else in the family. There may be cases in which when telling you that that little brother will not be born, they manifest joy.
Do not lose patience, it is a logical reaction. Instead, we must explain that it is a sad situation for parents and family.
There are no magic formulas to suffer less, but you can always do things so that the pain becomes a vague memory. And so be it, it depends on us.
Communicating, resuming life and having new goals that you hope will be important keys to overcome this situation.