Fear of women can prevent having personal relationships with the opposite sex and developing a family. The causes can be: low self-esteem, bad experiences with women, lack of experience or limiting beliefs (believing women are bad).
However, there is good news for you. There are techniques in which you can support yourself to overcome this fear, fight against your shyness and gradually lose the fear of approaching a woman.
Overcome Fear of Women
In most cases, men who are “scared” to women what they actually have is a great timidity, fear of rejection, insecurity and low self-esteem.
Not knowing what to say exactly or how to get their attention generates anxiety.
Overcome fear of women you simply do not know how to approach her, or how to talk to her, especially if she is a woman you do not know much about, like a neighbor or a coworker. Nor let’s talk if she’s a complete stranger.
It has probably happened to you more than once. Not knowing what to say or what to do, for fear of rejection. In fact, no one likes to be told not to.
But one thing is that it costs you much to encourage you to talk to a woman you do not know and you are always thinking that he will reject you, and another thing quite different is to have a phobia of women.
The Islamic gynophobia or ginecofobia is defined as an intense fear of women, unreasoning, unjustified and prolonged in time.
Men who suffer from this disorder experience great anxiety or panic simply by looking at a woman. They also have physical symptoms, such as tachycardia or profuse sweating on the palms of the hands.
There is also a variant of this phobia, called v enustrofobia . This is called the phobia of beautiful women.
What are the real causes of female phobia?
The causes are mostly linked to psychological aspects. There are also certain psychiatric disorders that may include fear or rejection among women.
The main causes are:
- Low self-esteem: considered of lower value than the women with whom the man is related. Excessive fear of rejection is included here.
- Limiting Beliefs: Misconceptions about women. For example, believe that all are bad.
In other cases, some men who experience this type of phobia have had conflicting relationships with important women in their lives.
The type of relationship with these women does not necessarily correspond to a sexual origin. A bad relationship with your mother or a grandmother, for example, can be more than enough reasons for the person to have a relationship with the female sex.
When a mother does not show any kind of affection towards her child, is too protective or even when there are physical punishments, they can be ideal scenarios for the development of this type of phobias.
The patient transfers his suspicion and his shyness to the whole genre. The suffering he experienced is stimulated and activated every time he has a woman nearby.
6 Steps to Overcome Fear of Women
The phobia of women, as with other types of phobias, has a remedy. However, the cure is a long and difficult process, so you have to have a lot of patience.
Here are the main techniques you can use to cure your fear of women.
Note: Please note that you will need some time to adjust to changes and see results. If you practice, from a week you will see changes and even deeper changes a month. The more stable the practice over time, the more stables the changes.
- Progressive Exposure Technique
What is it about?
It consists of a type of treatment in which the person who suffers the phobia is exposed to the stimulus that causes his great fear.
Although this technique is sometimes used with coaches or therapists, you can practice it yourself.
This exposure is done gradually. It begins with a light and fast exposure, in which the stimulus lasts a short time.
- Week 1: Ask the time to 5 unknown women a day.
- Week 2: Ask the time and start a short conversation.
- Week 3: Ask time and try to start a long conversation.
You can also apply the flood technique. That is to say, that suddenly entables a conversation with an unknown woman.
Although flooding can work, gradual exposure gives better results and is maintained over the long term.
As you gain confidence and confidence, the therapist increases the intensity of the stimulus (expose the woman).
At first, when you need to approach a woman, you will naturally feel a sense of anxiety and fear.
But little by little you will learn to control that fear, because there is really no danger, the irrational fear will gradually disappear and you will overcome your phobia.
For this reason it is important that you continue with your exposure to the stimulus, despite your anxiety. It is recommended that the exposure be approximately 1 hour.
Reaffirming the success of this technique, the psychologist Sebastián Mera concludes that it is critical that the phobic person is confronted with the situation that generates phobia, and immediately. “The more you avoid a problem, the bigger you are,” says the professional.
In the particular case of gynecophobia, at the beginning the therapist accompanies the patient. The circumstance of an encounter with a woman is generated, and the professional is an important support for the picture of fear and anguish that the patient experiences.
Gradually, the psychologist begins to leave the patient alone, as he begins to control his fears.
- Change of negative irrational thoughts
One of the great difficulties that phobias present, when it comes to their treatment is that the stimulus must not necessarily be present for the symptoms to be triggered.
What does this mean? Whoever fears snakes, for example, can begin to experience fear and anguish only by thinking of one of them.
If his friends, for example, invite him to go camping, just to think that a snake could enter his tent terrifies him.
When these types of phobias occur, one of the techniques to overcome them may be to work on these negative irrational thoughts to transform them into positive, more realistic thoughts.
How? When such a thought comes to your mind, then you should immediately say “STOP.” Put a mental barrier to not let these thoughts continue.
In turn, replace this negative thinking with a positive one. For example, following the example of snakes, you may think something like “no snake will get into my tent”, “I can control this situation”, “nothing bad can happen to me” or “I can handle my anxiety, I I will reassure. “
In the case of women, instead of thinking “sure will reject”, you could think that “there is no reason for me to fall so bad.”
Other irrational thoughts that usually have men with panic to women are of the type:
- Women are all bad.
- All women are crazy.
- All women are promiscuous.
- No taste for women.
Much more positive thoughts that help to approach women could be:
- Most women are good.
- I like some women and some women do not.
- Almost all women are loyal.
- Increase self-esteem
As long as you have a good image of yourself, and a good concept, shyness and fear of approaching a woman will weaken.
Also Read: Hypochondria: Symptoms, Causes, Treatment
In reality, without good self-esteem, it is difficult to approach a woman, much less attract her.
If you feel confident about yourself you will not doubt that your appearance or personality could be appealing to a woman and you will rely more on your ability to start a chat and become a member of the opposite sex.
- Talk to all women, including those you do not care about
This is very simple but very effective at the same time. It is a way to “demystify” women as something unattainable.
When interacting with those girls who are not interested in going out or starting a relationship, you will not have the pressure to overcome your fears. And at the same time you can know them better.
However, it is also important that you approach and speak with those that also cause you anxiety .
Remember that women may also feel afraid or anxious to talk to some men. They are also people!
- Learn to communicate better
While all women are different, of course, there are generalities that will help you to understand them better.
Most women will like you to start the conversation with something that brings them good memories. You can talk about a vacation you had or ask advice on something to give your nephews.
However, the best topics of conversation are:
- Those that interest her.
- Those that interest you both.
- Shared experiences or values.
These tips for communicating assertively will help you.
- Overcome the fear of rejection
Take a little drama to the situation if a girl does not accept your invitation to leave for example.
Put her down from the pedestal, she’s not the only attractive girl in the world, and if she told you not to, then there will be another girl who will tell you yes.
You do not know how many other boys you have also rejected; surely you are not the only one. Also, not everyone has to have the same tastes or the same desires.
Here you need to understand this: you can not fit in with all women. Normally, the more similar you are (age, physique, values, tastes …) the more likely you are to attract it.
It is completely normal to be rejected; in fact it is a way to rule out women who do not fit with you.
Other Tips for Losing Fear of Women:
Do not deal with women who are not nice, who act rude or disinterested.
Do not interact with women who are unkind or who are full of problems.
Never let yourself be disrespected.
Put barriers between you and the others.
In short, to lose the fear of the female sex you must eradicate your negative thoughts, improve your self-esteem and begin to approach the women, little by little.
If in spite of following these advices your fear does not weaken and prevents you from approaching a woman, then you may need professional help, do not hesitate to look for it.