Last Updated on December 26, 2022 by Mike Robinson

Emotional disconnection makes it possible to be lonely, even in today’s highly connected world. Is it true that this evil is worrisomely reshaping our society? Everything today is geared toward making it easier for people to communicate and exchange ideas. But according to the WHO, loneliness is currently one of the biggest health threats because it affects many different aspects of our lives and reduces life expectancy and quality.

There are countries committed to tackling these kinds of problems, such as the United Kingdom, which has created a Ministry for Loneliness (headed by Minister Tracy Crouch). Also, in Japan, due to the “Kodokushi phenomenon,” many people die alone in their homes. Therefore, Japan’s government decided to create housing complexes with specialized care.

How do you deal with the loss of connection?

You might regularly interact with friends and stay connected to social media, but you could also isolate yourself at home. These different extremes are just two sides of the same coin—the loss of connection.

If you feel that you are not connected with others, you will surely feel alone. You will notice that nobody understands you or that you do not understand others. You sometimes think that love is not real and that interacting with other people does not make sense.

How we relate to others is usually a reflection of what we have inside of us. When emotional disconnection occurs, we have somehow lost connection with our feelings. Perhaps we have purposely broken or managed to silence that inner pain, and when we stop listening to it, it is as if we numb our hearts and become more numb.

But these invisible barriers that separate you from yourself and others are a form of protection. This barrier we develop is often so complex that we must regularly refine it to obtain greater protection from our emotions. What works at first makes you later fall into the trap of isolating yourself in one way or another. At first, you will feel alone, and over time, you will stop enjoying social interaction, causing you to become even more isolated.

The consequences of this phenomenon in our relationships

In some ways, we are social creatures. But until we reach adulthood, we are helpless beings who require protection from our emotions. We all need strong, secure, and stable connections within our social circles.

Without it, we won’t have a solid foundation of trust, leading to dependency or unhealthy, superficial relationships and their consequences.

These feelings will not allow us to love ourselves as we deserve, and they can do us a disservice—by causing us to lose connection with ourselves and our feelings, which would be like stopping communication with a part of us. We could later lose connection with others and experience life from afar as if even good things stopped making us happy.

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Emotional disconnection in social relationships

Another result is that it might make you feel cold, with no desire to feel pain, whether for circumstances that involve others or yourself. You also become disconnected from your strongest emotions as a result of it. Your attempts to mask or solve your emptiness will fall short because the emotional disconnection will remain.

As this cycle continues, we risk becoming self-destructive and begging for crumbs of love. Perhaps the most damaging characteristic is becoming suspicious and developing dysfunctional relationships.

How is an emotional connection generated?

The lowest common denominator of a connection is communication. According to the scientific studies carried out in this regard, the first bond that we form outside the womb is through interaction and association with the environment provided by our parents. We share this with many other mammals, allowing us to communicate beyond all verbal communication. We express feelings that say, “I know you are there; I see you; I recognize you; we are close; you can count on me; we are a part of something together.”

As a result, we can interpret this connection as more profound and conclude that even a fleeting glance or touch can create a connection. For instance, “love at first sight,” as depicted in stories or films, is based on experiences that profoundly affect our perceptions of love and lead us to idealize what “true love,” as defined by physical attractiveness, can be.

This spark is more likely to happen with people like us because we naturally understand, empathize with, or recognize the other person when we see similarities. This makes us trust or connect with the other person better. But it’s also made by meeting the other person and talking about your life. In the end, the connection is made through honest, deeper communication.

Reconnect emotionally
So, as we can see, the feeling of not being or feeling connected with other people can show up in different ways every day. Some will be more obvious, like not having anyone around. Others, like being around people a lot or having many Instagram friends, can hide the same truth.