Are we doomed to emotional disconnection?

Is loneliness possible in hyperconnected society? Is it real that this evil is shaking our society in a worrying way?

Today everything is focused on facilitating accessibility to communication and exchange between people . However, for the WHO, loneliness is one of the greatest current risks for the deterioration of health, due to its implications in multiple facets of our lives that influence a deterioration in quality and life expectancy.

There are countries committed to tackling these kinds of problems, such as the United Kingdom, which has created a Ministry for Loneliness (headed by Minister Tracy Crouch), or Japan, which due to the “Kodokushi phenomenon”, sees a large number of people die alone in their homes, so his government decided to create housing complexes with specialized care.

How do you get to the loss of connection?
You may be permanently connected to social networks, that you meet often with friends, that you have a full schedule of social activities … or that you isolate yourself at home. These extremes that seem so different are actually two sides of the same coin , that of the loss of connection.

If you feel that you are not connected with others, surely you will feel alone; You will notice that nobody understands you or that you do not understand others, that everyone approaches out of interest, that love is not real, that interacting with other people does not make sense or that you have to take something of advantage to make it worthwhile for you to relate to someone.

How we relate to others is usually a reflection of what we have inside us . In this case, we have somehow lost connection with our feelings; Perhaps we have purposely broken or managed to silence that inner pain, and when we stop listening to it it is as if we numb our hearts and become more numb or cold.

But these invisible barriers that separate you from yourself and others are a protection . This weapon is often too sophisticated and is being refined to offer greater protection. What works at first, later makes you fall into the trap of isolating yourself in one way or another; At first you will feel alone, and over time you will stop enjoying many things, mainly on a social level, with which you will cut off contact, reduce it or leave it on a superficial level, Total, you feel alone in the same way shape.

The consequences of this phenomenon in our relationships
On the one hand we are social beings, and on the other we are defenseless beings in need of protection until we grow up. Ultimately, we all need healthy, safe, stable links in our group of belonging .

If we do not have this, we will lack a foundation of trust that will cause dependency , superficial or harmful relationships with their consequences. Distrust is common among them , but seen as something very deep that may be nesting inside us and obstructing our way even without realizing it.

This will not allow us to love ourselves as we deserve, and it can do us a disservice; from losing connection with ourselves to losing it with our feelings, which would be like stopping communicating with a part of us. Or even later lose connection with others and feel life from afar or off, as if even good things stopped making us vibrate.

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Emotional disconnection in social relationships
This can cause you to become cold; In situations like this you don’t want to feel your pain and that of others less . It also causes you to lose connection with your deepest feelings. But your emptiness will still be there and you will try to cover it or solve it, although that will not be enough.

Then we run the risk of becoming self-destructive , begging for crumbs of love … And perhaps the most outstanding characteristic, we become suspicious and with a perception of what relationships are a little or quite dysfunctional.

How is the connection generated?
The lowest common denominator of connection is communication . According to the scientific studies carried out in this regard, the first bond that we form outside the womb is through contact and after looking at those who are usually with our caregivers. We share this with many other mammals, and it allows us to communicate beyond all verbal communication: it is the “I know you are there, I see you, I recognize you and we are close, you can count on me, we are part of something together”.

Thus we can understand a link as a deeper connection, and deduce that to generate a connection, even if it is more superfluous, a glance or a touch is enough . For example, love at first sight, as in stories or movies, is based on stories that have a deep impact on our understanding of love and that push us to idealize what an attractive appearance can achieve, “true love.” .

It is easier for this spark to arise with people similar to us, with the fact that there is an innate component of understanding, empathy or recognition of the other person when perceiving similarities, which makes us trust more or connect better with the other person. But it is also created by meeting the other person, sharing experiences with them Ultimately, communication at a real, deeper level creates connection .

Reconnect emotionally
Thus, the experience of not being or feeling connected with others, as we are seeing, can be evidenced in various ways on a day-to-day basis. Some will be more visible, such as not having people around, and others can mask this same reality, such as being around people often or having many friends on Instagram.