Here are 17 tips to be a good father, whether first-time, young, separated or married, that can facilitate this task, as well as help you enjoy your new role as a parent.
There are many questions that come to mind when we are going to be parents for the first time.
How to Be a Good Father
Finally, we present the different models that exist of parents and the consequences they can have on children.
1- You do not have to worry
Although it is easy to say, the best way to be a good father is not to worry too much about being a good father. It is true that we do not have the knowledge or enough experience to know such basic things as changing our child’s diaper or helping him to expel gas, but we will acquire all that with practice.
What we do have to worry about is being a good husband, since our son will need a stable and warm environment full of love to grow.
2- Make normal life
It is important that we do not change our lifestyle in general. Some couples do not start dating and get their life back until two years after the baby is born. We have to get used to the idea that now we have a child under our responsibility, but that does not mean we have to stay at home.
When before we start dating him, before we internalize that is already part of our life.
3- Let your partner have time for herself
Mothers are usually left to carry the full weight of motherhood. They not only exercise this role, since they have to combine it with being housewives and working. That is why, as parents, we must support them and help them to also have time for them so that they can take care of themselves and rest.
The child also needs his father, so it is good that you alternate in their activities so that both of you can enjoy their company and love.
4- Help during breastfeeding
During the first months, the baby will have night schedules to ingest breast milk.
If you are a good husband you will be a good father, so it is important that we accompany our partner at those times and enjoy with her this activity that strengthens the bonds between the child and his mother.
5- Educate your son how they educated you
Now is our time to exercise as a model in the education of our son. Surely, you will remember how your father educated you and the styles you used for it. If you liked them you can play them, if on the contrary you do not agree with the style you used, it’s time to change them.
On some occasions, this can cause anxiety and stress since no one is seen at first exercising as a parent. Try to calm down and think about how you would like to educate and treat your child. You can always help yourself from your own parents and the experiences of your friends.
6- Learn about the parenting guidelines
Our duty as parents is to inform us of the guidelines for raising the baby. There are many books and relevant information about this process, although we also have to know how to be critical of what we find online. In case you have doubts it is advisable to ask an expert, like a doctor.
7- Enjoy this experience with your son and your partner
Enjoy your experience with your partner is something magical. Time passes, so it is recommended that you take advantage of the afternoons you spend with your family.
Your child will grow fast and when you least expect it you will have flown out of the nest.
8- Respect the mother of your children
As a father and a role to follow for your child, it is important that you respect the mother of your children.
The child needs a firm and stable environment so your marriage or relationship with your partner should be like that and even if it is not, respect should come first. Being arguing in front of the minor is not advisable since it can affect you negatively.
9- Read stories to your children before sleep
A gesture as basic as this will also help to foster emotional ties with your child and to know him / her. Well, in other leisure activities it will not be possible to have a moment of intimacy with your child as with reading.
On the other hand, the action of reading will help you to have a personal and career growth when you grow up if you love to read as a child.
In addition, after reading the story you will feel more clothed and you can rest better feeling loved.
10- Dedicate time to your children
Not only do you have to enjoy the experience with your partner and spend time with them, you also have to dedicate time to your child especially and do activities with him. Children all they want is to spend time with their father and one of the best ways to show that you love them is to do it.
It is true, that not always what you want is to go to play soccer with him or do other activities, but being a good father requires responsibilities and sacrifices. Remember that the time you do not take advantage of him will not come back anymore.
11- Talk to your child frequently
Normally, children are afraid to talk to their parents because mothers are the ones who do this work. However, both should take time to meet and talk with their children.
If you want to be a good father you should listen to their ideas and problems as well and not just leave it to your partner.
12- Discipline with love
Giving your quality child an education means educating him positively and with love. It is important that the norms and rules of behavior at home are enforced . Of course, not imposing them authoritatively, but calmly and with rewards for good behavior.
It is also good to talk with the child about the misbehaviors that may have, in order to help you realize that this is not the way and teach the good way of doing things.
13- Be a good behavior model
Our children will imitate our behavior and we are also the referents of the acts that are good and not and how they should treat other people.
Therefore, in the case that we have a daughter, our behavior will make her see how she deserves to be treated by other young people. On the other hand, you will also make him see what is important in life as honesty, humility and responsibility.
14- Worry about being a good teacher
Even if you are educating your child with rules and rules at home and acting as a learning model to follow, you have to worry about your child acquiring the basic skills and abilities to cope with the world around him.
You have to keep in mind that the examples you give them in daily life are going to have more impact than any that you acquire in another environment because the family is the first socializing agent.
15- Tell your son that you love him and show him
Your child needs to know that you love him and not only is it worth it to prove it by dedicating time and doing leisure activities and reading with him.
It also needs to be heard and this is something that we do not usually do very often. Therefore, I encourage you to leave that role of cold father if you are and demonstrate the love you have your child daily and at all times.
16- Let it be wrong
Do not be an overprotective parent, you have to let your child be wrong and learn by himself. This may be hard to understand, but it needs to be done to encourage their autonomy and personal development.
17- Foster positive communication
Always try to tell your child what is important and what is good, if you do this, you will help him develop a great confidence in himself.
On the other hand, listen to them whenever you can, in this way you will know better, you will feel supported unconditionally and trust in you.
What kind of father are you or do you want to become?
How you treat and educate your child can have a consequence in their upbringing and development. Next, we show you the different types of parents that can be found and their possible effects on children:
Maybe you feel identified with this kind of father. These are characterized by buying your child everything they ask without any control. However, spending all the money in the world to buy material things from your child does not make you a good father.
Apparently, it may seem that this type of parents are very attentive with their children, however the effect is quite the opposite (Fernández, 2009).
The child will understand that you love him for the fact of buying things, so the day you do not do it, you will interpret that you do not feel anything for him anymore. If you are this type of father it is important that you show your love with kisses and hugs and not with so many material things.
This type of father is often continually scolding his son for everything he does. On the other hand, it is also characterized by underestimating its achievements. This model has negative consequences for your children.
On the one hand, they can accept the situation and understand that in the home the boss is the father and he is the one who has the absolute truth. This will lead to them becoming adults who need to have a reference to be able to give solutions to their problems.
On the other hand, children who do not accept this situation, usually respond with anger and rejection. This will lead to you not accepting the rules that you impose and I challenge you. However, if your child shows this attitude it is because he thinks for himself and when he grows up, he will be able to cope with his environment without needing help.
This type of parents is characterized by suffering thinking about all the bad things that can happen to their child. They are not able to understand that in the activities that their children can do in their daily life, there are also fun and rewards instead of dangers (Fernández, 2009).
The consequences for children who have overprotective parents can become very negative, as they will become fearful and insecure children with a lack of self-esteem and fear that something will happen to them.
This type of father is the most recommended since he plays with his son and helps him to do his homework. He also worries about his problems and those of his friends. On the other hand, your behavior also varies depending on the needs of your child.
However, even in this educational style problems can arise, for example, that your child knows that through dialogue he can modify your ideas and take you to his field. For this reason, it is important that we are attentive to these needs and know how to use the tools we have.
This model only affects your child in a positive way since it will generate more security and will be able to face the problems of his environment. In addition, it will help him to have more confidence in himself given that he feels very supported by his family.
Currently, being a good parent can become much more complicated than in the past. However, the essential remains the same since you have to cover the basic needs of your child when they are small and continue supporting and understanding it until it grows.
You should not be overwhelmed with the idea of being a good father, since all that comes out only when you see it in your arms. What you have to worry about is to adequately fulfill your role as a parent and know how to be there for both your partner and your child.
Most think that kissing their child before going to bed is enough, but this is not the case. Do not leave all the work to the mothers because the children also need a paternal referent to help them and guide them during their development.
These and other tips can help you become the ideal father for your children.