How to Beat Fear in 9 Steps

Fear is common thing and how to beat fear is most common question. Fear is an experienced emotion when it is perceived that there is a threat, real or imagined, in the present, future or even past. When fear is not based on something real or that really endangers your life, it will be preventing you from the goals you are proposing or that will simply make you feel bad.

Precisely that is the great problem of not fighting the fears; you paralyze and prevent you from growing as a person or reaching your personal goals.

how to Beat Fear

Overcome fear of failure.  Mixed media

Learning how to overcome fear and control it will give you great advantages and results in your life:

  • You’ll feel better.
  • Your self-esteem will rise.
  • You will overcome the limits that impose the fear and you will reach your goals.
  • You will grow as a person or professional.

With what you will learn in this article, you can start to face and overcome fears as varied as: animals, public speaking, talking to people, emotional dependence, heights, going out, traveling alone, talking to women, and talking with men … Can you eliminate a fear of everything? Some if, although having a little is not going to hurt you. The important thing is to overcome it and not let it paralyze you.

If you work to manage and control your fears, you will have more freedom, you will increase your chances of developing yourself and you will no longer have that feeling of fear so unpleasant and that prevents you from advancing in your life.

Why are you afraid?

Cannot be afraid? Yes, even if you lose your fear of something that is dangerous is not beneficial to your safety.

Imagine you are not afraid to go too fast driving. You will be much more likely to have an accident.

When you are afraid of something, it is because having a first unpleasant experience with a situation, animal or person, you have felt anxiety and you have escaped without facing it.

From that first experience, you have escaped every time you have encountered a similar situation and thus avoid the crisis again, however, are not the best way to lose the fear.

How to overcome fear ?

On the other hand, there may be some fears that are innate, such as fear of heights or fear of public speaking.

The only way to lose that fear is to face the stimuli that are avoided (public speaking, dogs, heights, people …), starting with simple tasks. As self-control increases, more difficult tasks are set.

It is necessary to practice each task as many times as necessary to overcome fear and control anxiety. Regular practice is therefore necessary.

9 Steps to overcome fear

The most commonly used and most effective technique to overcome fear is live exposure. It is based on exposing yourself to the situations / things that cause you fear, to gradually, self-control and overcome them.

The main goal is to break the situation-anxiety-escape sequence. For example, break the sequence “having to make a presentation in class-anxiety-flee”.

Therefore, you will approach that which causes you fear.

If for example you are afraid to travel by bus alone, you will take a trip and try to overcome that anxiety.

When you are able to stay longer and have more control over yourself, you will be facing more difficult situations.

In order for you to succeed in coping with your fear, you should follow these steps:

1-Make a list of situations that cause you fear or anxiety

  • Ask questions in public (being you part of the public).
  • Answer questions in public (being you part of the audience).
  • Make presentations in public before 10-50 people.
  • Make public presentations to more than 50 people.
  • Talk to unknown people.
  • Talk to friends in front of other people.
  • Speak – interacting – with the audience (you being the one making the presentation).

2-Sort these situations according to the degree of difficulty

  • Talk to friends in front of other people.
  • Talk to unknown people.
  • Answer questions in public (being you part of the audience).
  • Ask questions in public (being you part of the public).
  • Make presentations in public before 10-50 people.
  • Make public presentations to more than 50 people.
  • Speak – interacting – with the audience (you being the one making the presentation).

3-Prepares the tasks of approach according to the degree of difficulty

That is, plan weekly assignments in which you expose yourself to those fears. Start with the situation that less fear gives you, i.e. situation 1 (talk with friends in front of other people).

For example:


  • Talk with friends in front of other people.-WEEK 1.
  • Talk to unknown people.-WEEK 2.
  • Answer questions in public (being you part of the public). – WEEK 3.
  • Ask questions in public (being you part of the public). – WEEK 4.
  • Make presentations in public before 10-50 people.-WEEKS 5.
  • Make presentations in public before more than 50 people.-WEEKS 6.
  • Speak you – interacting – with the audience (you being the one who makes the presentation). – WEEK 7.
  • The idea is to practice 3-5 times per week. Longer sessions tend to produce better results than short sessions.

It is recommended that you withdraw from the situation if the anxiety you feel is highlighted. That is, you feel dizzy, heart rate acceleration, muscle tension, fear of losing control…

If you feel uncomfortable but feel that you are in control, you can continue to expose yourself to the situation.

4-Get results and takes and step on the list

If for example you have completed situation 1, give yourself a reward.

  • What is completing situation 1? This: talking to friends – or people you know – in front of other people at least once a day and for a week.
  • When you complete it, put a reward that pleases you. For example; See a movie you like, buy a shirt…
  • What is completing situation 2? Have talked to 4-5 unknown people for a week.
  • When you complete it, put a reward that pleases you. For example; See a movie you like, buy a shirt…

Note: It is important that you do not give yourself rewards if you have not overcome situations.

When you reach the most difficult degree, continue practicing to maintain the results, the lack of practice will return you to the initial situation.

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5- Plan your setbacks

If for example you want to overcome the fear of swimming, do not do it alone and less if it is at sea. Plan that can come up badly.

If your fear is traveling alone, get on an urban bus so you can get off quickly if you get very nervous.

6-Tips to deal with the situation

  • When you find yourself in situations to overcome you can follow these tips:
  • Take your time, no hurry.
  • Breathe slowly and deeply.
  • If you find it difficult to self-control, stop and start again.
  • Give your achievements away.
  • Try to stay in the situation.

In order for you to succeed in your task of overcoming fear, it is necessary that you perform these tasks constantly and with increasing difficulty.

Remember that this technique can be done alone or accompanied. If you decide to go solo, remember that it is important to set realistic goals, be aware of what it is difficult for you to do, practice constantly, perform self-control ( breathing ) techniques and plan if you encounter any setback.

7-Tips for coping with resistance to coping with fear

  • There is usually a resistance to being exposed to situations that cause anxiety.
  • To overcome this resistance:
  • See if you are delaying the exposure sessions.
  • Recognize that it is normal to experience strong emotions during exposure to feared situations.
  • Avoiding negative thoughts such as “will never overcome fear”, “it is dangerous”.
  • Look at therapy as an opportunity for improvement.
  • Think of the rewards of overcoming fear.
  • Recognizing that feeling bad about exposure is the way to overcome fear.
  • Do not oversaturate: If you feel excessive anxiety, withdraw momentarily or repeat the next day.
  • Preparing solutions: for example, as a precaution of a possible stop of an elevator, you can carry an emergency telephone.
  • Reward yourself for small successes.

8-To improve results

  • Specific information about your progress through logging increases effectiveness. That is, take note in a notebook of your progress.
  • Breath training is useful for people with breathing problems. Look at these relaxation techniques.
  • The appearance of thoughts or catastrophic images makes necessary the use of techniques of cognitive (thinking) restructuring. Visit this article to modify your limiting beliefs.
  • Cognitive techniques can increase the effectiveness of exposure; Can at first increase motivation and ultimately relapse.

9-Other modalities

Modeling: If you see that it is something very difficult for you or something you cannot control, ask someone for help, look at it and follow their instructions. If for example you try to speak in public or talk to someone, look first as your partner does and later do it yourself.

Exhibition in the imagination: it is about imagining you speaking in public, talking to the guy you like or traveling alone on the bus. The problem is that the stimuli continue to cause fear in reality therefore it is necessary to practice also live. It can be useful: 1) when the live exposure is difficult (fear of death, fear of flying, and fear of storms) and 2) to motivate when the fear of the stimulus is excessive.

Exposure through new technologies:  virtual reality consists of generating three-dimensional environments in which the person has the feeling of being physically present and interacts with the environment in real time. The advantages are: it allows the control of what happens, you can build and manipulate the context and feel more intimacy. However it cannot replace live exposure and the cost is high.

In short, the most effective modality is self-exposure. Although at first it may be something more “shocking” and hard to start, it will give you the best results.

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