Last Updated on December 11, 2022 by Mike Robinson
Having your dignity stepped on does not sit well with anyone. Humiliation is a very unpleasant sensation that usually occurs in social situations when another person or persons consciously or unconsciously are discourteous, rude, or disrespectful to us. This causes you to feel embarrassed and belittled.
What is humiliation?
Humiliation is an uncomfortable emotion caused by the perception that one’s social position or public image has declined. It’s the polar opposite of pride. People who have been humiliated may experience low self-esteem.
Reactions to humiliation can vary, and not all are positive. Some get angry and make the situation worse; others cry and try to retaliate. It is surprising how hurtful or offensive words can negatively affect us.
Being clear about how to react to humiliation appropriately is difficult. It requires a calm, relaxed mind and the strength to prevent other people’s words from affecting us.
When someone humiliates you in front of others
The feeling of humiliation is an experience whose impact is so intense and strong that it can destroy us. Feeling humiliated is synonymous with feeling erased, confused, defenseless, and full of anger. It can manifest itself with physical sensations, such as stomach pain, and visible emotional reactions, such as crying or outbursts of anger. A typical response is wanting to hide or be swallowed up by the earth and disappear. Often when we are humiliated, we lose all ability to take action.
We’ve all been humiliated at least once in our lives. And all we can think about afterward is what we wish we would have done to prevent it. Although we can’t go back to that precise moment and get another chance, it’s still a good idea to think about what we could have done differently. If nothing else, we’ll be ready to react differently if it happens again.
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We inevitably react in one way or another to humiliation, but we can avoid how the words that have been said affect us. We should not give more power to the opinion of others than to our own. Self-esteem is key to managing a humiliating experience. Here are a few suggestions for how to react to humiliation.
1. Take some time to think
It is difficult to think clearly when we are humiliated, as our minds freeze with horror and frustration. However, if we get our brains to start working quickly again, we can discover a way to respond.
But if not, you should think about an answer while remaining as calm as possible.
We don’t have to apologize, accept blame, or fight back. These options may have a negative result and make things worse.
2. Don’t take it for granted.
The typical initial reaction is to receive the humiliation as a personal attack. But what if it is not? It may happen that our “aggressor” is having a bad day, and you just happened to be on the other end of their humiliating comment.
A good tip is that, in the face of a humiliating comment, instead of counterattacking angrily, stand in silence, tight-lipped with a surprised look on your face. That way, they won’t be sure their remarks or actions had any effect on you. By showing restraint, you may make them feel ashamed of their actions.
If you think that whoever made the humiliating comment didn’t mean to embarrass you in front of others, an excellent way to react to it is by responding with the appropriate tone, but directly and in private.
If you are sure they meant to embarrass you, then understand no matter what error you made, you do not deserve to be humiliated for it.
We must indeed take responsibility for our actions and make amends for our mistakes, but no one should be denigrated for the errors they make.
If a person wants us to feel bad about ourselves, the problem is most likely in them, they are frustrated with their lives, and they need to find fault or humiliate others to try to assert themselves. Of course, that is pathological behavior.
Not taking it personally proves you are the victim, not the cause of the problem.
3. Understand the motivation of the other
If the humiliating situation just happened, now that we are out of harm’s way, we can spend some time thinking about what may have occurred. Understanding the other person’s motivation can give us a broader vision of why this has happened and if there might have been no intention to hurt us.
Understanding does not mean forgiving or feeling sorry for the other person. It is simply a tool to help us eliminate the potentially harmful consequences of their behavior. It is also a way to help us not to take their actions personally and to see more clearly that it is their problem, not ours.
4. Seek support from others
No one can escape humiliation. It’s hard to find someone who hasn’t ever felt humiliated. Therefore, opening up to others who can share their experiences with this emotion is easy and allows us to talk about it. At the same time, provide mutual emotional support in situations where one feels their dignity was trampled on.
For example, if you were humiliated by your boss, you may not be the only one. Other colleagues in the office may have also had a similar experience. Talking with them lets you know what tools or strategies they used to get out of the way and understand why your boss is like that.
5. Better not retaliate
Humiliation is a mixture of anger and shame and can result in a desire for revenge or retaliation. We may believe that getting revenge will restore our damaged self-esteem after the humiliation.
The problem with doing this is that we risk making things worse. We can turn a situation in which we were already the victim into an even worse one, which may lead to further humiliation. Not retaliating is not a sign of weakness.
6. Keep going
The best reaction to humiliation is not allowing the person to influence us, whether done innocently or on purpose. We have strengths and the ability to live a full and purposeful life despite the unpleasant comments of certain individuals.
If the person who humiliates us does it on purpose and continues to do it, your best option is to cut off the relationship with them, be it a partner, a co-worker, or a boss.
