Last Updated on January 2, 2023 by Mike Robinson

Because everything that lives will eventually pass away, losing a loved one is a painful process that is a necessary part of the natural cycle of life. The most typical reaction to these circumstances is pain. The death of a loved one, whether a partner, a family member, a friend, or a child, causes more frequent pain than other losses like a divorce or losing a job.

Although anyone can feel pain, not everyone has the same ways of coping with loss. There are adaptive coping mechanisms that can help us get past mourning, while other behaviors can make it more difficult to do so, which can cause conflicting emotions to work against each other.

Overcoming grief from the death of a loved one

When a loved one passes away, you will likely have a variety of reactions, some of which may be unexpected or undesirable. These emotions include anxiety, sadness, crying, and anger. Friends and family will want to support you, share stories with you, or advise you on how to deal with your loss.

However, every person’s suffering is different, as are their coping mechanisms and responses to the loss. You frequently hear cliched advice like “Cheer up; you have to be strong!” on a regular basis. However, every person’s suffering is different, as are their coping mechanisms and responses to the loss. You frequently hear cliched advice like “Cheer up; you have to be strong!” on a regular basis. Or advice like, “You should look forward and continue living your life.”

It is less frequent for you to receive guidance on addressing your suffering.

This happens because, in our society, the pain of the loss prevents us from acknowledging death and keeping it out of our lives. Even though death and the suffering that follows are part of life, most people don’t want to show their emotions in front of others.

When dealing with the death of a loved one, you may feel overwhelmed or sad. It is expected that the pain will influence your thoughts. Perhaps the memory of your loved one is constantly present in your mind. This may cause confusion and make it difficult to concentrate. Partly due to thoughts of your relationship and experiences with the person you have lost,

Do not be concerned; these mental reactions are normal. They are merely an expression of love and a coping mechanism that will aid in your recovery.

It’s important to remember that the pain may also cause you to experience some physical symptoms, such as a heaviness in the chest, fatigue, stomach discomfort, and sleep disorders. Other symptoms include intestinal issues, dizziness, headache, restless breathing, or generalized anxiety. Consider that your body and your mind are responding to your emotional pain.

You might also exhibit behavioral changes since the loss. You might have trouble sleeping or have nightmares. Avoid being overly ambitious with your work and resist the urge to exert yourself.

Additionally, as we’ve previously mentioned, there are a variety of responses people have as a way to cope with pain. For example, being alone and not wanting to be around people they know. Fortunately, these reactions are symptoms of your suffering and will eventually disappear, allowing you to resume your regular behavior.

The stages of internal grieving

Pain is a feeling that is more akin to fear, guilt, anger, or love. It will cause you to go through various stages of mourning before you fully recover.

These steps are:

• Denial: This stage protects the person from the pain he will experience from the loss.
• Anger: feelings of acute pain, anger, and grief toward the person who has died or ourselves.
• Bargaining. It is a moment of negotiation with reality and the life that you will live from now on. It is a normally short phase where the person tries, through bargaining, to alleviate the pain of loss.
• Depression. The confusion disappears, and feelings of sadness, depression, fear, and uncertainty appear.
• Acceptation. Upon reaching acceptance, the grieving process comes to an end. The person accepts the new reality and goes ahead with much learning behind his back.

Pathological mourning

It is common for us to constantly think of our loved ones and to experience sadness or nostalgia from time to time. But eventually, these common mourning emotions must be reduced to specific days or moments.

The pain of loss from the death of a loved one can occasionally become unbearable and severe, making it impossible for the person to carry on with daily activities.

Here are a few signs of pathological grief:

• intense desire and longing for the deceased
• intrusive thoughts or images of your loved one constantly.
• The denial of death or the sense of disbelief
• Imagine that the deceased is alive.
• searching for the person in known places.
• Avoid things that remind you of your loved one.
• extreme anger or bitterness over the loss

Tips for Overcoming the Death of Your Loved One

1. Take time to overcome the loss.

There is no set time for overcoming the grief of losing a loved one. Knowing that each person has their own timing for overcoming emotional trauma from the death of a loved one is important. Similarly, each person takes a different amount of time to heal physical wounds. Be patient with yourself and do not demand deadlines; little by little, you will find yourself getting better.

2. Accept what you are feeling.

As we have already said, sadness, pain, anxiety, and fear (among others) are normal reactions in mourning loved ones. The first step to overcoming the loss of a loved one is to accept that you have the right to feel pain over it.

Repressing these feelings will not do you any good and will hinder your recovery, making it complicated. This can result in conflicting emotions pulling you in different directions without warning.

3. Seek support from friends and family.

The people closest to you will be happy to help you. As a result, you can receive love, affection, and understanding. What they provide emotionally can be beneficial on tougher days when you need it most.

However, you do not have to be in their company when you don’t feel like it. You do not have to make plans with people you do not want to be with. Allow yourself time alone if that is what you need, but do not stop leaning on those closest to you.

4. Talk about your loved one with friends and family.

The death of a loved one does not mean you should forget how important they were in your life. Many people confuse overcoming a loss with forgetting or pretending they didn’t exist. Grief recovery means accepting that the loved one is gone but remembering how important they were to you.

5. Try to maintain your habits and routines.

An important part of accepting that the deceased person is no longer with us is continuing your normal life. The moment you find yourself a little better after the loss, go back to work (or class) or go out with friends.

It’s a good time to start new positive routines based on your favorite activities.

6. Take care of yourself and practice self-love.

For any type of recovery, it is always good to take care of yourself. Eat healthy, exercise, and get proper rest. Additionally, it’s a time to pamper yourself as well. Go shopping and treat yourself to something nice. These small but meaningful activities are like the building blocks of recovery. You will notice improvements to your mental state immediately.

7. Take up a sport  or physical activity

Sports are excellent natural antidepressants. When we exercise the body, we release endorphins responsible for happiness.

At first, it may be a little difficult if you aren’t in shape yet. So you may feel a little tired afterward. But by committing to an activity and doing it regularly, you will start to see benefits. Team recreation sports are usually more fun and entertaining, but choose the one you think you will like. That way, you will stay with it longer.

8. Contact people who have experienced a similar loss.

Talking with people who have also experienced the death of a loved one knows what you are going through. They often understand more about feelings that can be challenging to describe to those who have not experienced them. Talking to people who have had similar experiences can be helpful. Like in situations where a partner passes away after battling a disease, as well as with friends and relatives of people who have been in car accidents.

9. Get ahead of key dates.

Birthdays, anniversaries, and special occasions Throughout the years, there will be repeating dates that will remind you of your loved one, which can be an emotional shock.

Remember that you might feel more depressed or nostalgic than usual on that day. Although it’s common, you can try to make plans to keep yourself occupied or stay with friends or family to provide support when necessary.

10. Ask for psychological support.

In situations of emotional distress, professional assistance is always advisable. Seeing a specialist does not require that grief develop into pathological grief or depression. If you believe working with a psychologist would help you recover from your loss more quickly, don’t hesitate to contact them to set up an appointment.

However, it is true that, on some occasions, the pain, depression, or anxiety experienced in the grieving process can become pathological and serious. You should seek psychological help if:

• You feel that living does not make sense.
• You wish you had died with your loved one.
• You blame yourself for the loss or for not preventing it.
• You feel numb and disconnected from others for more than a month.
• You have difficulty trusting the people around you because of your loss.
• You cannot continue your daily routines for more than a few weeks.

The metaphor of the bird and the branch

Finally, we will tell you a little metaphor that shows the ideal relationship between ourselves and others very well, so that it can help you focus your relationships and prevent harsh processes of mourning.

Once upon a time, there was a bird perched on a beautiful branch of a tree. This branch served as a place to rest and also allowed him to see the landscape around him and protect himself from other animals that wanted to hunt him.

One day, a strong wind began to stir the branch, which was moving without stopping in all directions. The wind was blowing so hard that it seemed like the branch was going to break.

However, the bird was not at all worried, for it was aware of two truths: The first is that, even without the branch, it had the capacity to fly and thus to remain safe through the force that was in its wings; around it, there were many branches to lean on and new horizons to discover in the branches that had yet to be posed.