When we talk about grieving, it may seem that we are talking about death, but in reality we are talking about life . Because mourning is done so that our life, our projects and our future are better and fuller. At first it may seem counterintuitive, but that is because it is a process contrary to what society teaches us. And it is not a problem of the people: it is a problem of society.
Why should we take into account the importance of grief?
From a young age they teach us that life has to be a continuous accumulation, growth and achievement . Everything that is not like that sounds like failure. So when many people suffer a loss of any kind in their life, they don’t know how to react. It is as if we had been trained only for one part of life, which always implies the word more: more money, more status, more relationships. But when we face the other half of life, the one that implies lose and let go, we are totally disoriented.
In addition, it must be taken into account that the myths that circulate regarding this issue do not help at all : you have to grit your teeth and hold on, asking for help is for the weak, if you let things go you will forget them, if you overcome the loss of someone is a sign that you did not love him very much, etc. But none of these myths is true. The duel is a way of doing things is the best way to overcome a loss , which further shortens the process, which further decreases the pain you suffer healthily and gives you a map of the stages you will having to go through to leave the loss behind without weighing down your future.
The consequences of not doing it right can be devastating and go beyond what you would expect: mood disorders, addictions, worsening or loss of social relationships, suicidal ideations. And sometimes, unfortunately, entire lives failed. In addition, we have to know that grief is not only necessary when we lose a loved one. It is also essential to successfully cope with many other situations:
Loss of work and professional status.
Deterioration of health and diseases.
Worsening of social networks or disappearance of significant relationships.
Transit from one period of life to another.
Abandonment of plans and projects.
Situations that imply the feeling of loss of security.
The great social changes that we are experiencing after which some things will not go back to the way they were.
The grieving process is far from being mechanical or automatic . It is always and at all times a deeply personal process.
There are several things to learn, and the main one is that, like it or not, there are several phases that we have to go through so that in the end the loss is resolved. Sometimes these phases are lived one at a time. Other times they are more interspersed. And, of course, each person experiences them differently: it is a deeply personal process. And you need to invest time, patience and kindness with yourself. And of course, have the knowledge about the process that we are going to live. We have to know what conditions of our own life and of our own character favor or hinder the overcoming of the loss. We also have to know in advance what each phase implies, to know what to expect and that our own reactions do not take us by surprise.
But let’s broaden the perspective: so far we have been talking about what each person needs when they are going through a grieving process. But the thing do not ends there. Have you thought about what you would do if someone around you was experiencing a loss? Do you know what to do when someone you care about is in a situation where they can’t cope with the fact that a part of their life is over?
Psychology and Training.
It is very important that people know how to help other people in such a process . We are not talking about knowledge at a professional level, but it is always helpful that those around a person in a state of loss (which is always a state of fragility), know at all times what is convenient and what not to do . It’s a great way to help family, friends, and others who matter to us get on with their lives. Also Read: The Importance of Caring for Mental Health
But let’s also be clear about one thing: when you need qualified support, a useful and effective guide to overcome these times of life, there is nothing comparable to the support of a professional who performs an accompaniment task . And let’s not forget that, sooner or later, whether we like it or not, times of loss come to all of us.