Recovering the illusion is important to re-pursue goals and dreams in life. Without the illusion lives becomes more somber, less fun and more monotonous.
Some examples of negative events may be experiencing a love affair, the death of a close person, losing a job or going through a period of economic hardship.
Illusion is characterized by the constant desire that we have for an event that we have waited for some time – such as the urge to travel, the desire to meet someone again, etc. -.
The lack of illusion is also characterized by the absence of goals or the abandonment of them.
After living a bad stage in your life, it is normal for you to feel that nothing fills you, that you have no illusion towards what you used to have.
” The birds know that there is no winter that lasts a hundred years and that, when the storm passes, the first seed that sprouts is the sun.” – Francisco Morales Santos.
10 Tips to Recover the Illusion
1-Analyze the cause of your discomfort
It is very important that you keep in mind what has caused your current situation. It is not the same thing that is due to the loss of a job that a sudden loss of a loved one.
In the first case, the solution is in your hands: you must fight to get another job in the shortest possible time, so that your economic situation and your self-esteem are not deteriorated.
However, there are other situations in which there is no possibility of repairing the situation, as in the above example of a loss of a close person .
In this example, you should focus on facing your own emotions, learn to manage them, live with them and accept the new situation that presents itself.
2. Think about how you can improve the situation
Once you have analyzed in depth the cause of your current discomfort, look for ways to put a solution to it .
As we have already mentioned, there are unchangeable situations, which do not depend on yourself.
However, even if you can not change the situation, there are many ways to overcome it, such as changing the way you see things or accepting the loss.
On the contrary, in those situations that can be solved, you must consider how to deal with it.
For example, one of the most frequent causes of loss of illusion is to occupy a monotonous and boring job .
If this is your case, try to take on new responsibilities that make you grow as a professional.
And, if you feel that the job does not fill you enough, you may consider looking for a new job that best suits your characteristics.
3. Express your feelings and emotions
Sadness is a frequent trigger of loss of hope and illusion and this can cause you to feel the urge to cry constantly.
Our advice is not to suppress your urge to cry, since avoiding your emotions will only mean that you can not cope with them.
However, you also can not allow your emotions to limit your life and prevent you from carrying out your daily responsibilities.
Take time to be aware of the emotions that invade you, but planting them face and overcoming them little by little.
In the event that you have experienced the loss of a loved one, it is especially important that you express your emotions, since the first stage of mourning is usually negation, being able to stay trapped in it if you continue to avoid your pain.
This is a clear example of the fact that time does not always cure wounds since if you do not adequately express your feelings in the grieving process , it becomes pathological and decades can pass without you being able to overcome it.
However, with an adequate coping of the emotions, the mourning is overcome in a period of time between 6 months and a year and a half.
With respect to your negative emotions like anger, anger or rancor, it is advisable to find a way to express them when the context allows.
Like sadness, it is not appropriate for you to suppress these emotions, but be aware that they exist within you and that you learn to master them – instead of these emotions dominating you.
4. Seeks social support
One of the things that most illusion entails is sharing moments and experiences with others.
Therefore, you should not distance yourself from the people around you, but leaning on them to get you through the bad stretch you’ve gone through.
Do not wait for others to come up with plans. Do it yourself, although at first you do not feel like it.
Avoid the negative expectations that you will not enjoy, that your mind will be somewhere else.
Social events such as family gatherings or parties are often avoided after some events, such as after a separation of feelings or divorce.
To this day, still belonging to a more liberal society, many people try to postpone seeing acquaintances and relatives because they do not dare to communicate the news of the separation. Sometimes it happens because of shame, others because of guilt or fear of criticism or “what they will say”.
If this has been your case, you should know that the sooner you face the new situation, the more supported and accompanied you will feel at a stage of your life in which the feeling of loneliness can be very harmful.
In summary: rely on your loved ones when you need comfort and plan leisure activities that you can do together. All this will increase your illusion and hope before life and the future.
5. Conceive this bad stage as something temporary
As the saying goes, “there is no harm in a hundred years to last”, so the stage that you have lived or are living is not eternal either.
Life is built of good times, bad and neutral, and only when you go through a bad stage do you realize how good you were before
We live with the feeling that everything is eternal: our life, our health, work, love, etc.
This feeling that gives us peace of mind has a clear adaptive function, since without it we would be continually worrying about all aspects of our life.
However, as we have already mentioned, when you go through a negative stage, your point of view changes.
You begin to be aware that there are aspects of life that are not under your control and that, sometimes, things do not go as one would like.
In fact, this is the cause on many occasions that the illusion is lost for what we were before.
If this is your case, you should begin to have more hope for the future, to know that, although the same negative circumstances can be repeated, worrying you will not get anything.
6. Analyze the positive aspects of your life
As we have said before, people tend to give more importance to what goes wrong in our life, at the expense of everything that goes well.
Therefore, it is normal that you forget to value the positive areas of your life, which are sure to be many if you stop to think.
One way to help yourself to analyze the good and bad of your life is to list them all.
Write in the left part of a folio everything negative, and to the right the positive. Draw a scale below both lists and observe the result.
To carry out the exercise correctly, try to spend as much time as possible and be objective with what you write.
7. Decrease in the loss of illusion
Avoid thinking that you should be excited about or radiant with energy every day and, otherwise, it indicates that something is wrong in your life.
Do not worry either if the people around you remind you that you do not have the same energy and vitality as you used to have.
Remember that this is a stage in which you are recovering from psychological wear, so you will need some time to recover.
Just like after suffering a muscle injury you need rehabilitation, after having experienced emotional conflicts you need your adaptation period to return to work as before.
8. Project yourself in the future.
Surely some of your vital projects have been modified by going through a bad stage.
Depending on the negative situation you have gone through, some plans will be modified and others will be paralyzed until everything is back to normal.
Once you have finished the bad stretch – such as being healthy after you have gone through a severe illness – set new goals for which you have to fight from the time you get up until you go to bed.
Some projects may be the same as before but may be more difficult to achieve, such as re-starting an academic course .
However, others may be completely modified, such as living alone after a partner breakup .
The important thing is that you visualize your objective, that you are realistic and that you do not compare it with your previous projects. Marking sub-targets will help you not to give up on pursuing your goals.
All this will help you to increase the illusion and hope in the present moment , encouraging you not to surrender and seeing that you are gradually approaching your personal goal .
9. Break with the routine
When lack of hope is a constant in your life, it can be an indicator that you need to do something exciting.
It is not necessary that you take a sabbatical year to live the best adventures of your life, it will be enough with some small changes like the following ones:
Take a break on the weekend. If you are one of those who need to travel to feel alive, you can consider a fun getaway with friends or a romantic weekend in a country house with your partner.
Plan a dinner at a new restaurant. Avoid plying yourself by always going to the same bars or restaurants. Look for alternative meal plans that may break the routine.
Plan new leisure activities. Going to a concert, the theater or a museum are examples of activities that you can do during your free time and that can help you recover the illusion.
Spend time in nature . There is nothing like spending a day in the countryside, in the mountains or on the beach, away from the hustle and bustle of the city, on days when discouragement dominates your life. Think of ways to surprise yourself with new places to explore.
Although at first you may not want to carry out these activities, sure that if you force yourself to take the step, then you’ll be glad you did and you’ll end up enjoying it like you used to.
10. Dedicate yourself time
Sometimes, losing the illusion in life, people neglect and dedicate much less care than before.
If you consider that this is also happening to you, you should start today to change this situation.
Start by getting more handsome before going out into the street, going to the hairdresser, buying new clothes, etc.
You should also consider spending time on the habits that you are most passionate about and those you left out during your bad run.
For example, you could go back to the gym or resume language classes.
By putting these tips into practice, you will be able to experience your illusion again in your life and you will feel more satisfied with yourself.