Last Updated on April 13, 2023 by Mike Robinson
Impulsivity occurs when one reacts to external stimuli in an extremely rapid and excessive way without being able to reflect beforehand. Although it is a habit, it can be controlled in children and adults.
In addition, impulsive behaviors are very often associated with frustration, lack of control, and aggressiveness, so if you respond impulsively, you will often engage in this type of behavior. Therefore, one thing is clear: if we want to act in a proper way, have appropriate behaviors, and avoid problems, we must function in a rational way instead of in an impulsive way.
It can be defined as a multi factorial concept that implies a tendency to act on a whim, showing a behavior characterized by little reflection, foresight, or consideration of the consequences. Impulsive behaviors are often inappropriate, risky, and have undesirable consequences.
On the other hand, there might be a positive variation of impulsivity that entails acting without hesitation in the right circumstances and with expected advantages. Positive outcomes in these circumstances are typically seen as evidence of speed, spontaneity, courage, or cunning rather than impulsivity. Therefore, acting rashly and favoring immediate gains over long-term ones are examples of impulsivity. It can be a personality trait, but it can also be a symptom of a number of illnesses, such as borderline disorder, autism, ADHD, drug addiction, bipolar disorder, and antisocial personality disorder.
Common characteristics
Impulsive behaviors and actions are a part of human nature and can be both good and bad. Braking suddenly while driving in dry weather because you think the car to your side will suddenly merge into your lane can be the right or wrong choice. If that car actually does merge into our lane and you avoid a collision, it was the right choice. It will be incorrect if the vehicle to your side does not actually carry out the action you anticipated. Especially if the vehicle behind you strikes you as a result of your sudden braking. With this straightforward illustration, I’m attempting to convey to you that although impulsive actions are common and frequently necessary, there is a risk involved.
When you perform an impulsive action, you do not use the thought process at any time, since the reaction comes long before you can think.
If you practice impulsivity, what you will be doing is betting all your actions on Russian roulette, never knowing if that reaction will be right or not. Doing this will obviously lead to problems since, by not rationalizing reactions, they will often be wrong.
In addition, impulsive behaviors are very often associated with frustration, lack of control, and aggressiveness, so if you respond impulsively, you will often engage in this type of behavior.
Therefore, one thing is clear: if we want to act in a proper way, have appropriate behaviors, and avoid problems, we must function in a rational way instead of in an impulsive way.
10 Steps to Controlling Impulsivity
Learn to control your impulsiveness and to behave in a rational way with the ten steps that we explain below.
1-Take Responsibility
The first step you must take to control your impulsiveness is to realize that you must do it. By this, I mean that you must be aware that you have too much difficulty controlling your impulsive behaviors and that you use them excessively.
If you are not aware of this, you will never change your impulsive behavior or learn to control it. In any case, to leave doubts about whether your behaviors are too impulsive, or you cannot perform the following exercise,
When night comes, review all the behaviors and reactions you had during the day. Give them all and describe how your reaction or behavior was, what you did, why, and what consequences it has. Once you’ve done it, go over them one by one and think about them.
- Have the reactions been impulsive or not? Did you respond in an extremely quick way and not give yourself time to think about your behavior?
- Has the behavior been appropriate, or could you have done something else? Can you think of a quieter alternative to reacting?
- What did you feel when you acted? Were you nervous, angry, or both? Could you have controlled your behavior or noticed that at that moment you could not do anything else?
Ask yourself all these questions about each of your behaviors, and if your behaviors are too impulsive, you will notice it quickly. Do this exercise for three or four days, and if you come to the conclusion that there are several moments when you could act in a more calm and rational way with the second step,
2: Detect the stimuli
Once you are clear that you must improve your ability to control impulsivity, what you must do is learn to detect the stimuli. To do this, you can do the same thing we did in point one. Write down each one of your impulsive actions on a sheet and describe how they have been.
Once you have done so, think about them and ask the following question for each impulsive action: What has been the stimulus that has provoked my disproportionate reaction? Once you have done with most impulsive behaviors, draw your own conclusions; surely many of them already knew them before performing this exercise:
What are the things that usually trigger my impulsive behavior? It is very important that you are very clear about what these stimuli are, know them, and are aware of them.
And that means that if you want to be able to control your impulsivity, it will be essential that you know how to detect in advance those situations of risk in which you are very likely to respond impulsively.
3-Control the volcano
The next step is to know how to control the volcano so that it does not erupt; that is, to be able to stop your impulsive behavior in those situations that induce you to respond in that way.
In order to be able to control your impulsive behavior and ensure that it does not appear, it is very important that you have done well with the previous step and that you have been able to anticipate that the situation in question can induce impulsive behavior.
If you have managed to detect the situation as dangerous and you have prepared not to respond impulsively, you will have many livestock.
And what makes it difficult to control impulsivity is that it is immediate, appears suddenly, and is so fast that we do not have time to act before it.
So, in order to control the volcano, you have to be able to do two things that allow you to respond before impulsive behavior appears:
- Know those situations that can make you respond impulsively, and when they appear, detect them and prepare not to react impulsively.
- Know the internal sensations that occur inside you when you get angry (like a volcano when it starts to warm up and produce lava) to detect them when they appear and try not to become impulsive.
4—Delay your response.
Once you are able to detect the moments in which you react in an impulsive way, you are ready to modify your type of response.
As we have said, the main problem with impulsivity is that it is immediate and occurs prior to thought, so when it appears, we do not have material time to stop it with thought.
Also Read : Controlling Anger and Aggression: The Top 10 Techniques
So what we have to do to make this not happen is to learn to delay our response. This consists of getting used to letting a few seconds pass before reacting or acting.
This exercise should always be done, not only in those moments that you feel that you can respond impulsively, since the goal is that you get used to always responding in a timely manner.
If you do, it will be much harder for your impulsive behaviors to appear. To do this, you can do the simple exercise of counting to 3 before reacting.
5-Use self-instructions
Even though you can count up to 3 before reacting in all situations, your impulsiveness may appear equally strong.
And is it that the exercises we have done so far allow us to gain time on impulsivity but not eliminate it?
However, if you have already arrived here, you already have a lot of time since the most difficult thing to beat is impulsiveness. But now comes the important thing; you already have a lot of time since the most difficult thing to beat is impulsiveness. But now comes the important thing… What do we do with this time?
The main objective is to be able to use it to activate our rational part, which will be in charge of controlling impulsivity.
So, imagine a situation that prompts you to respond with impulsiveness. So far, we have done the following:
- You had already detected the situation as dangerous, so as it developed, you prepared not to respond in an impulsive way.
- You have noticed how the anger has been building inside, so you have prepared to control it and not rush.
- You were able to count to 3 before answering.
But now what do we do?
Well, convince yourself that the best way to respond is not with impulsivity. To do it, what you have to do is repeat self-instructions like the following:
“Before I do anything, I’ll think about it.”
“Is what I say now justified?”
“If I say what I’m thinking, will I be rushing?”
“What I’m going to do now is impulsive behavior.”
6: Develop alternative behaviors
Impulsive reactions share a particular behavior, so if we manage to develop a type of alternative behavior every time we fear the onset of impulsivity, it will be less likely to appear.
For example, if every time you feel that you are getting angry, you get used to self-instruction and step back, you will increase your control over impulsiveness.
7: Change your way of thinking
The self-instructions we have discussed, which you will use in moments of emergency, should serve not only to eliminate impulsivity but to develop a different way of thinking. So, when you’re at home, you should develop a much larger self-instruction list than the previous one. The goal is to develop for yourself a series of key ideas that allow you to focus your life in a more rational way.
In order to do so, you can point out the advantages of working in a rational way, the inconveniences of being in a hurry, the problems that you have saved since you do not react impulsively, or in short, any ideas you have for acting in a calm and rational way.
These key ideas will serve to strengthen your belief in self-instruction, so they will be more effective.
8: Channel your energy.
One of the characteristics of impulsivity is that it activates and prepares our body to respond immediately to a given situation. However, as we have said before, this does not have to be bad, since being impulsive may prove to be beneficial.
So, this activation can be really useful if you can channel it into regulated activities. In addition, if we learn to use impulsiveness in appropriate situations, we will have less control over it in all other situations.
To learn how to channel impulsivity properly, I recommend you do some kind of sport, since it is the most appropriate activity to give way to impulsivity in a controlled way.
9: Learn to relax
Likewise, in order to have a lower predisposition to impulsivity, it is desirable that you learn to acquire states of relaxation in a habitual way.
To do this, I recommend that you do the following exercise daily for about 10 to 15 minutes:
- Breathe deeply and slowly, noticing how the air enters and leaves your belly.
- In each breath, repeat a word or phrase that conveys tranquility, like “relax” or “calm.”
- At the same time, imagine a landscape that transmits calm and serenity.
- If you want, you can play back some relaxation music at low volume.
10-Reduce stress
If your day-to-day is very stressful, you will have a smaller capacity to properly carry out the nine previous steps that will allow you to control your impulsivity.
So, if you notice that stress invades your life, organize your activities and your time and try to achieve the balance necessary to live more peacefully. Take moments to distract you and relax and try not to be doing activities without stopping.
If you do, you will acquire a more relaxed general state that will allow you to have a lower predisposition to impulsiveness.
